this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2023
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[โ€“] redcalcium@lemmy.institute 83 points 11 months ago (5 children)

How people from high context culture tell their guest it's time to leave: "whelp"

How people from low context culture tell their guess it's time to leave: "I think you should leave"

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 45 points 11 months ago

Fun excruciating fact: the worse your social anxiety, the more desperate you might be to get rid of them and at the same time the less likely you are to go with the second option ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ

[โ€“] ndru@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

Fascinating, thanks for sharing!

[โ€“] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago

That's cool. I can't think of menu low context cultures in any national scales, but definitely a few subcultures in the US.

Korea on the other hand is the epitome of high context culture.

[โ€“] Sombyr@lemmy.one 3 points 11 months ago

Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen anyone actually ask somebody to leave where I'm from. If it gets too late and our guests are still there, guess they're staying the night. Luckily, most people leave before then.
I've lived most of my life in tiny Vermont villages, for context.

[โ€“] Vampiric_Luma@lemmy.ca 3 points 11 months ago

MMmMMMMmmm thank you for that scrumptious link

[โ€“] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 68 points 11 months ago

It someone slaps their knees in my own house I start thinking of leaving

[โ€“] Arfman@aussie.zone 48 points 11 months ago (5 children)

I saw a video yesterday that in Japan, your hosts will offer to serve green tea on rice. Apparently this is a hint for the guests to leave.

[โ€“] ExLisper@linux.community 33 points 11 months ago (1 children)

In Poland you just tell them there's no more vodka.

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 24 points 11 months ago

Which of course is never true in Poland ๐Ÿ˜

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 30 points 11 months ago (5 children)

In Denmark, the host will sometimes serve soup or another light dish to signal that it's time for them to leave. It's actually informally known as "go away-food"

I wish I had the confidence and rudimentary cooking abilities to serve guests go away-food ๐Ÿ˜†

[โ€“] redcalcium@lemmy.institute 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)

People who can't cook: "I guess a have a new roommate now"

[โ€“] dudinax@programming.dev 7 points 11 months ago

Leading to a training montage. Years later, your roommate tries your three thousandth attempt at fuck-off soup, smiles at you, stands up and says "whelp..."

[โ€“] door_in_the_face@feddit.nl 20 points 11 months ago (2 children)

In the Netherlands we have "fuck off coffee", to be served after dinner.

[โ€“] postnataldrip@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Nah, that's different. Fuckoffee is coffee you drink to build up or maintain energy for prolonged sessions of fucking.

[โ€“] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)

you sure it's not called "annoying cancer-cunt-twat tuberculosis coffee"?

[โ€“] door_in_the_face@feddit.nl 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I think the literal translation of the name is "rot away coffee" so it might have something to do with tuberculosis or leprosy? The rest is reserved for special occasions, unless you're from Rotterdam of course.

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Lots of annoying cunts in Rotterdam?

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

Nah, that's what you serve if a far right politician visits.

[โ€“] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 14 points 11 months ago

It isn't that difficult.

Go away food doesn't need to taste good. In fact, it helps them go away much faster.

[โ€“] Nalivai@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Are you expected to eat fuck off soup, or should you fuck off right away?

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's up to you, really. You can fuck off right away, eat the soup and then fuck off or you can have fucked off before the soup was served ๐Ÿคท

[โ€“] ptolemy@infosec.pub 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

All roads lead to fuck off.

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

I need that on a doormat ๐Ÿ˜†

[โ€“] aubble@lemm.ee 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

What?! This simply is not true.

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It very much is. Maybe it's not a custom in your part of the country but here in ร˜stjylland and in Himmerland, it definitely is.

[โ€“] Norgur@kbin.social 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So ist the logic behind this to say "looks we were planning on having dinner about now" implying that the guest is intruding but in order to show hospitality, you'd have to invite them to the meal, so you server some plain-ass soup that won't cost you squat if the guest should accept your offer but is bland enough so that the guest will likely pass anyway?

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

I think it's more like "we'll give you a bit of food for the journey. Nothing too heavy so you'll want to sit down for a long time, but decent food nonetheless. Now kindly scram"

[โ€“] redcalcium@lemmy.institute 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Are you supposed to refuse the rice, or leave after eating the rice?

[โ€“] Arfman@aussie.zone 6 points 11 months ago

Refuse and it's the cue to leave

[โ€“] gusVLZ@sh.itjust.works 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm Brazilian and over here we can both, place a broom behind the front door or start doing the dishes

[โ€“] LemmyInRedditSux@lemm.ee 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

How does the act of placing a broom behind the front door signify the guest should leave? The broom is blocking the exit. ๐Ÿค”

[โ€“] gusVLZ@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago

The door is open and the broom is visible between the wall and the door

[โ€“] EllyEinhorn@feddit.de 4 points 11 months ago

Carrie Fisher would have her copy of the Star Wars Holiday Special if she wanted everyone to leave.

[โ€“] Tuhis@lemmy.world 27 points 11 months ago

I just announce that the orgy is about to start and in less than a minute I'm alone. ๐Ÿ˜ค

[โ€“] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 21 points 11 months ago (1 children)

When I'm tired of the people, I just tell them to get the fuck out.

They get it.

[โ€“] Classy@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I used to be more Midwestern, "Welp" or "Alright" kind of thing, but I've been becoming a bit more low context with time. Especially if I have my family with me. It's a lot easier to terminate exchanges when you have a kid.

"I'm gonna go now" seems like it's going to be too direct but people adjust pretty quickly in my experience. Or maybe everyone I know thinks I'm an asshole lol

[โ€“] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

I just speak plainly. It works wonders.

There are some people who don't like it, but that's just because they're even bigger assholes.

[โ€“] pinkdrunkenelephants@lemmy.cafe 19 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Why wouldn't people just say, "It's getting late, this was fun, but I need to sleep so it's time for everyone else to leave, let's hang out again next week"?

Why can't people be simple?

[โ€“] phorq@lemmy.ml 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, I normally say "I can't clog the bathroom with people listening" and that normally works

[โ€“] sneezymrmilo@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

Hahah I love this one. Gonna have to use this sometime.

[โ€“] punkwalrus@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

I have had hosts be this direct, and we all went, "okay," and left. And came back when invited with no hard feelings. Usually D&D games, but also movie nights.

[โ€“] Stumblinbear@pawb.social 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I just bounce

Even during my own parties or while I have people over. Stay as long as you like, even stay the night if you so desire, but I'm going to my room and passing out at 10pm no matter what, so you do you from that point on. It's likely I'll also forget to tell you I'm going to bed

[โ€“] i_like_birds@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago

Ah, the Midwest goodbye. Also appropriate is a "whelp, I suppose."

As a guest I am never this type of problem, as I will usually have done an "Irish goodbye" hours before this point. If I haven't, my only problem would be not exclaiming out loud "oh thank god" when the host whelps.

[โ€“] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 points 11 months ago

I always want to leave but don't wanna be rude so as soon as the host says "Wh-" I'm up and out the door.