spoiler
For people that don't know this is not how you use Calipers
Wow! That's a creative way to use a caliper.
That's why teaching children about metrology basics is so important.
this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2023
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I remember when I first applied for a job in a fabrication/machine shop. One of the questions in the interview was "Do you know how to read a tape measure‽" followed by "demonstrate that you can use a tape measure" along with some other fun ones like "what is the difference between these two pieces of material" (one was aluminum, the other stainless) and other such things. I remember being surprised/disappointed that there were grown people who couldn't read a tape measure.
I've worked in machine shops and drafting offices for years now, and I'm no longer surprised by people who can't use basic measuring tools. Still disappointed though.
There's a great test for programmers called FizzBuzz. It's an extremely easy task - print some numbers (maybe 1 to 100), but replace them with Fizz if they're divisible by 3, by Buzz if they're divisible by 5, or by FizzBuzz if they're both.
Many reasonable people consider it way too easy - if you can write this, it doesn't mean that you can write complex programs, or that you know the applicable languages, or that you know anything about the business domain.
But interviewers know that it's a great test because a lot of so-called programmers still fail it.
We did a fizzbuzz interview with a candidate. He passed but I had a weird feeling about it so we asked him to do another one with 7 and 21 and he couldn't do it even with his old code right there
Damn, dude managed to literally memorize code without having any idea of what was going on. Meanwhile, I'd spend most of my time trying to figure whether it's div or mod that i'm supposed to use to check for the remainder of a division, I always forget which is which
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OK - now I'm curious, what were the most common mistakes people made reading a tape measurer? Because I'm having trouble working out how someone could screw that up lol
We had a guy we called "10/16" (ten sixteenths) because he was told to grab some 5/8" (0.625" or 16mm) steel plate, but he couldn't find any he could only find 10/16" and 12/16".
People will count the little lines on the tape and not remember if they are 1/32, 1/16, or 1/8.
I think metric would help this.
Oh OK - that does make a bit more sense. Still not exactly Nobel prize material, but fucking up the fractions at least makes more sense than not knowing how to read numbers and count lines lol
Metric would help with everything lol. I dream of the day we finally make the switch
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Yeah, fractions are dumb. Or I’m dumb and fractions are easy, but why don’t we split the difference and switch to metric?
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Some people dont know why the metal bit riveted to the end moves...
Or they even say this is a sign of wear and means you should throw it out.
And because I enjoy sharing knowledge more than boasting I know more than others: the reason it moves is to account for the thickness of the metal hook itself.
It makes a difference if you are hooking it onto the back of something and measuring from there, OR butting it up onto something and measuring from there.
If you want accurate and consistent readings in both of these situations, the hook has to move. It basically pivots around the true point you’re measuring from.
Everywhere I've worked, you'd "burn an inch" or "burn a foot" meaning you don't use the metal tab, you hold the 1" or 1' mark at the start and measure from there.
Measure twice cut once is a saying for a reason.
If you already knew this expression, here is chapter two:
Account for the width of the blade.
At least for me, that has more to do with misremembering what I measured than mismeasuring it
Can't count how many times I the workshop I measured something, made a mental note of it, walked back to the workbench, only to have to walk back and remeasure it because now I've forgotten what I just measured lol
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“what is the difference between these two pieces of material” (one was aluminum, the other stainless)
Did they expect you to identify which metals they were, or just that they were different metals?
I was expected to know that one was stainless steel and the other was aluminum, but not the specific grades of stainless or aluminum. Stainless and aluminum can look very similar when they're dirty, and 300 series stainless won't stick to a magnet just like aluminum won't stick to a magnet. But if you pick them up or even rap on them with your knuckles you can tell the difference.
After having a customer chew us out for something that wasn't our fault he had us follow him to another room to discuss some more work. He borrows my tape measure and tries to measure something on the wall and the tape keeps falling over and flexing. It finally hits him in the face and hands it back to me and says "I'm not familiar with this type of tool". I think he saw our faces turn red and eyes water up as we were trying SOOO hard not to laugh.
I want to wholeheartedly believe the caliper has the size the customer wants and the pipe is bigger, therefore inappropriate. I've never met anyone who would use a caliper this way, I've seen people trying to eyeball it or use it as a ruler but not like this
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Oh jeebus fucking christ. Sometimes the dumb hurts and then you get the existential dread knowing you're about to have to call this moron. And, even better, they usually make more money than you.
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Anyone who works with clients can appreciate this one
please close and reverse the tool, then grip it tightly and drive it into the skull of the complaining customer
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I am a certified blithering idiot and even I feel like a high society intellectual compared to this picture.
So these guys are smart enough to read Vernier calipers, but dumb enough to measure like this?
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Next time, chose a smarter client.
They don't exist.
Bold claim, also very true
Two of them did this.
Just for the fun of it: i'm making it 3 in my head. 1 extra to take the photo.
Probably. And not one said "hey, thats not the full dimension of the hole".
Showed this pic to my co workers (steelworkers/blacksmiths) and only the old guys knew what was funny about the pic... Gen z think that calipers are toy guns.....
I use calipers frequently and didn't realize it was upsidedown until reading this.
I thought it was a joke about clients always sending shitty low resolution pictures where you can't actually verify their claim.
I dunno, a lot of gen z and millennials probably use them when fabricating parts for things that you can't get them for. I know I do for my printer.
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Judging by this, even if it's the right size, they'll probably install it wrong anyway, so why bother?
I hate that I have blurted this out during meetings before.
A normal set of calipers has 3 basic modes of measuring things: inside, outside, and depth. It is amazing to me how many people in this thread don't know at least one of those or use them wrong.
Til the calipers I use, almost daily, can measure depth. Now I'm less annoyed about the stick protruding from the end lmao
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Tbf I use mine daily and had to pause a second thinking what would be the third mode. (never use it to measure depth)
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They were trying to design a caliper holder that fits the jaws in that orientation, obviously. They need to fix this, send it back.
Looks like that hole chamfer is wrong. Doesn't properly fit the measuring device.
Calipers are strictly for measuring the brainpan of undesirables.
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