this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2024
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When all of your exes get to happily move on in relationships that aren't you and you get nobody for extended periods of time.

While you're prideful in yourself to know that whatever relationship you get won't feel as tainted as theirs because maybe they're manipulative. The thing about it is that, I've tried being upfront, honest, detailed and everything to get someone with.

And I guess working on yourself and trying to improve aren't exactly attractable qualities.

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[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I had a good friend who spent way too much time bitching about how he was getting fucked and life just wasn't fair. He never took the time to live in the moment and just enjoy his life. He never understood that in reality life isn't fair, has never been fair, and never will be fair. Even though he was a young guy he got cancer. He died within a year. But during that year he finally grasped the concept of living each day and no longer worrying about the future and how life was fucking him.

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 1 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I mean, yeah, he had cancer and that sucked, but there is the advantage that you know things are going to end soon. That means no long-term planning necessary - a luxury we with a future do no have. I could live the best life for the next six months, but after that, I'd be homeless or back at my parents or friends and the next 5-10 years would be shit. It might also completely fuck over whatever little retirement I have left.

So "living in the moment" is good advice, but like everything: everything in moderation, even moderation.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Living in the moment is not limited to blowing your savings on frivolous things. It also includes focusing on the free or inexpensive things we do every day like spend time with family and friends or even just enjoying some free entertainment.

It is about not worrying so much about everything else that you ignore the positives that are happening right now.

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Indeed. But living in the moment knowing when you'll die and living in the moment not knowing are two very different things.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 0 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

The op was talking about how the friend wasn't living in the moment prior to knowing they were going to die.

He never took the time to live in the moment and just enjoy his life.

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You didn't finish reading

But during that year he finally grasped the concept of living each day and no longer worrying about the future and how life was fucking him.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 0 points 2 weeks ago

No, I understand that there are multiple things that you are conflating because they have some overlap.

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world -2 points 2 weeks ago

Agreed. Dying from something when you know how long you've got is different from not having any idea when you are going to die.