this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2024
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[–] RandomLegend@lemmy.dbzer0.com 109 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

i will never understand that stupid craze about expensive engagement rings... i engaged to my wife without a ring. It was just a very emotional situation, i was sure that i wanted to ask her... and then i just asked. No ring, no special event planned out or something... just asked her, and she said yes.

People paying cars worth of money for a ring is so unbelievable for me.

[–] sicarius@lemmy.world 89 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I gave my wife a ring made out of coconut. Cost me $2 and she instantly dropped it off the balcony if the resturaunt we were at. The Thai owner of the place climbed off the balcony into the boulder field underneath and spent 20 minutes looking for it. Even after I explained that it was only a cheap coconut ring. He said the price isn't the point, it's the memories!
He found it, what a legend.

[–] bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 31 points 2 weeks ago

I carved a wood ring for her, and she was surprised I popped the question after I was carving it in front of her and sizing it against her finger

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 9 points 2 weeks ago

Thai restaurant owner is right: it's not the cost—it's the memories.

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

“Once upon a time” an expensive engagement ring worked as a sort of bride price and was a hedge against the risk of premarital sex.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

How does buying/wearing a ring prevent premarital sex?

[–] yeather@lemmy.ca 20 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Back in ye olden times, you would pay a bride price to the parents of the bride, both symbolizing the eternal debt you owed to your wife and as a way to show you had plenty of money to spare to take care of your wife. You would then give your wife a dower, sonething they could hold onto in case you lost all your money or she became suddenly widowed. This historically was property but became rings or jewelry with expensive stones. The wife would take the dower as a sign she would no longer need to worry, and in exchange be a maiden on her wedding night. These practices were only for the wealthy, until indistrialization brought the practice to a growing middle class. Then, in the early to mid 1900s, marketing campaigns began associating the price of a ring to the love you felt for your wife, leading us to today.

[–] glitchdx@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

Now this is capitalism.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I still don't see how an expensive dower would prevent the couple from having sex before getting married, but I guess I'm just too modern-minded.

[–] yeather@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It was more for the woman to not sleep around or sell her virginity.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 2 points 2 weeks ago

That seems so much less likely to happen than the couple sleeping together themselves.

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Doesn’t prevent it, but gives the girl collateral if the guy breaks off the engagement afterwards.

[–] alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 weeks ago

Diamond rings are basically worth fuckall for resale. Most pawn shops won't even take them

[–] cobysev@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago

Back when my wife and I were still dating, she found a cheap ring she loved. It was just a normal jewelry ring with her favorite stones in it, not a fancy engagement ring or anything. But she loved it so much, she told me that if I ever proposed to her, she gave me permission to steal it from her and re-present it as an engagement ring. Which I did.

I felt bad about it though. I took the ring to propose, but my plans fell through and it took me a few more days to arrange a new proposal plan. She had forgotten all about our conversation, so the whole time she was tearing the house apart, looking for her favorite ring. She loved that I "found" it and gave it back to her with a proposal.

[–] Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I got my fiancee a gold cat bell instead of a ring. Granted it was a bit pricey but it has special meaning to us and it was definitely not worth cars amount of money like some people spend.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Plus it's harder for her to sneak up on you now

[–] bastion@feddit.nl 5 points 2 weeks ago

The real benefit.

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

I got mine cat ears and she got mad at me.

[–] stringere@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I gave my wife Nenya, a replica of Galadriel's ring from Lord of the Rings made by WETA who are the folks that did the movie props. Silver and cubic zirconia ost $75. Mine was $14, wood and platinum. We're 9 years in and going strong.

[–] medgremlin@midwest.social 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The one my husband gave me is Nenya without the stones. It's just the 6 petaled flower in white gold.

[–] stringere@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

Such a pretty ring. She's the bigger Tolkeon fan of us two, so it also meant a lot to her.

[–] vext01@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 weeks ago

The industry programmed everyone to pay silly amounts for a ring.

i'm fine with this shit if it's interesting, or you have the disposable income to spend on it, but outside of that i feel like things that are more immediately sentimental are more interesting.

though to be honest, i find marriage kind of cringe, i would only ever do that shit for the tax breaks lmao.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

sunset, silver ring. cost me about $20.