this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2024
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Please tell me this is satire.
Not only is it not, its not even the only product marketed this way. Off the top of my head I've heard of anti woke coffee, beer, phones, foods... I don't remember what any of them are called because that's not a good use of brain space.
Decaf?
Extra slave labor.
Buh dum tssss
I'm gonna make some tooth brushes in two marginally different styles and sell one in rainbow and various LGBT flag patterns for the left and sell the other in camo, thin blue line flag and gun metal grey patterns for the right. Market the hell out of both of them based solely on being ideologically polarized to those each side hates. Milk everyone on both sides of their cash. And when they finally inevitably find out that they're both produced by the same company, I'll gamify it, posting weekly sales totals for each line and promising 20% of the profits at the end of the year get donated the a non-profit supported by the winning side. Let them fight each other by paying me. Also, no matter how overwhelming one side was actually winning, my posts would always indicate that it is a really close race, so that if just a few more people bought them, it might make a big difference.
That's all bullshit, I'd never do that because I'm not evil. But dozens of Libertarian sociopaths are taking notes right now.
I'd never do that because it sounds like a lot of work and you'd probably just get bought out or run out of business by Colgate or the other big companies.
LOL monster
…profitable monster… the most cunning ones are
What’s woke coffee? Every coffee joint I can think of, diners and artisanal shops excluded, are the union bustingest, republican donatingest, fair weather friends in the world.
Black Rifle coffee, I'm assuming. The American coffee with guns on the cans.
Kyle rittenhouse's coffee of choice!
I actually bought a bag of their beans after they publically distanced themselves from him. It wasn't bad I guess, nothing spectacular. Although I'm giving up coffee slowly, probably wont buy another bag.
Caffienated coffee should be woke 😂
Starbucks goes pretty left. Shops generally speaking idk i think you're right...now the roasters, the bean brokers, the plantations...I've seen bits of left ideology here & there. The main thing I care about is: can you make a good bean? Does it taste good? There was one bean out of Africa, had all this FairTrade feel-good stuff behind it. Tasted a cup of the brew & I'm like...pack it up, boys. This isn't even good coffee. ¯\(°_o)/¯
Starbucks is the poster boy for saying one thing and doing another. Their marketing and damage control cost less than accepting employee demands.
Oh idk about all of that. I don't go to Char bucks unless I have to. I do know this: holy shit they have some good benefits for their employees. I think they pay well for schooling, and I know for a fact a young man quit his job at a lumberyard to become a Starbucks barista. Why? Among other things, to get good healthcare for his entire fucking family. By being a Starbucks barista!
...it doesn't really make sense to me, either, but he did what he had to do & seemed generally happy with the arrangement.
anti-woke coffee made by A.I. on the blockchain
I knew it wasn't. But I was holding out for the tiniest sliver of hope.
So, what happened is Harry's Razors used to run ads on the Daily Wire, then pulled them because...... They're the daily wire, basically. The guy who owns the daily wire took it personally and launched Jeremy's razors to stick it to em.
It's definitely satire, have a look at their ads. It's just a giant pisstake.