this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2023
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like you know you’re a good person at heart but life circumstances and trauma and bullying and etc prevented you from learning the proper social skills to find companionship. not necessarily a forum to actually find friends (i find going into things with that intention feels fake and weird), but rather a forum to commiserate and share advice and coping mechanisms and so on.

loneliness is increasing worldwide, esp in men. and it's very easy to get into the weeds on this of course...

happy fuckin holidays

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[–] tourist@lemmy.world 124 points 10 months ago (2 children)

a forum to commiserate and share advice and coping mechanisms and so on.

Speaking for myself here, but I feel like this can make the problem worse. /r/depression is something in a similar vein. Whenever I went there, I'd always leave sadder. There's something about reading other people's struggles that just seemed to reinforce my own sense of hopelessness.

Also, bad advice on those kinds of forums can look extremely reasonable if your perception of the world is clouded by your problems.

I know it doesn't work for everyone, but give therapy a shot if you haven't already.

Like others have said, having a friend that you see regularly can help with loneliness. Doesn't even have to be strangers. Try messaging an old friend you drifted apart from. Odds are they'd be happy to catch up.

Sorry for the unsolicited advice. I know this isn't the type of response you asked for. I hope everything works out for you, bud.

[–] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 14 points 10 months ago

Bang on. I'm feeling down right now (relationship that ended I've never recovered from years later) and no amount of chatting with people online is going to fill that gaping hole or help me patch it.

Professional help should always be approached first and foremost.

Of course, that's not accessible for many people which is a shame and for that I have no answer, just that seeking to fill that hole with like-feeling people online is a recipe in disaster. Negativity breeds negativity.

[–] stackPeek@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago

Doesn't even have to be strangers. Try messaging an old friend you drifted apart from. Odds are they'd be happy to catch up.

Thank you, I really needed that. I don't have a lot of friends but I do have some old friend that is kind to me