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this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2023
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I’m going to take the free gravel and 7 inch teleportation. The gravel is a valuable commodity which can be sold. 7 inches is enough to get through any doorway.
The scifi book Battlefield Earth uses teleportion as a means of propulsion. The teleportation gives fighter planes a defensive and offensive advantage.
By far the least crazy idea L. Ron Hubbard ever had
but when i see a pill it kinda seems like a one use kinda thing
Feel like these are definitely permanent status effects
I thought this was like the Matrix, it gives you that ability.
Maybe you gotta take a pill every time you want to teleport
Does the teleportation create an exact copy of you and destroy who you are, or does it just move you exactly and rebuild your brain perfectly so you’re exactly the you you were before the teleport?
Personally it would work the same as when you move through space by conventional means.
I would imagine it would be like Arm pumping.
I want to imagine the real world would freak the fuck out the way some objects in a game engine do when you mash them together.
Instant nuclear fusion explosion
Nah there’s enough space between atoms, they’ll just converge into perfect matrix of flesh and door
So it's a pretty good super power then
Yes, but only once
Just teleport 7 inches away, duh
That should be a safe distance
I’m hearing GMod/Source clunking sounds.
Ok wiseguy:
I was going to squinch up real tight every time and only teleport through glass doors
That's how you lose your butt
What happens though? It just gets cut off?
Leaves a nut shaped hole in the door and that part of the door appears where your butt was
This was my thought.
If you can make sure it's just your nose that gets stuck, then pair it up with pill #4, you'll be good. Hope that helps lol
Can't you just teleport again? They didn't mention any cool down
7 inches is enough to get you mostly through a doorway.
Doors are about 1.5 inches thick. The average chest depth of an American male is 11.5 inches.
Teleporting yourself 7 inches forward would put a door 7 inches from your front and 3 inches from your back. You would have to only be 5.5 inches deep in order to make it entirely through the doorway without merging with the door.
Free gravel is a clear winner... If there's no limits, you could straight up build artificial islands, you could destroy cities... It's a legit super power. Hell, unless there's extreme limits that make it worthless, you could do a lot.
Teleporting is tempting, and if you could use it fast enough you could fly or at least walk at insane speeds... Depending on the limits, I'd take that over gravel
But any toaster? That's a brain computer interface right there. Even if it's one way, and you have to do it manually and pay for power? With 30 toasters you could type anything. You could learn stenography to do it faster. Or, if you could manipulate toasters past their capabilities, you could generate infinite power or burn down entire cities
For the gravel, I assumed it meant that any place that sells gravel is forced to give it to you for free. Still really powerful, but you have to think about the logistics.
still OP. Now I control all gravel in the world.
Too bad your clothes stay on the other side. I guess you can try to teleport out of county lockup too
Cops dont even show up to actual crimes. Aint no one grabbing the naked dude blipping in and out of reality as they pass through walls.
If your clothes stay behind, then what else does?
Dirt, dust, dead skin? Oils? Gut bacteria? Dental fillings? Food you just ate? Oxygen in your lungs? Oxygen in your blood? Implants for sure, right? What about hair, or nails?
I can imagine a scenario where someone tries this ability for the first time only to wind up naked, perfectly clean-shaven, bleeding profusely from every orifice and extremity, breathless and doubled over in pain, convulsing on a pile of shit, hair and other gross, getting their back sliced open by disembodied toenails.
And do you swap places with matter at your destination or just fit your pieces around and into whatever is already there?
If you don't swap, you could end up with air in your blood stream and bacteria and fungal spores everywhere. And a chance of nuclear fusion depending on how close atoms end up to each other. And if it can fuck with things at a nuclear level, it will also fuck with them at a chemical and structural level.
Or if you do swap, it becomes a powerful weapon where you just pop into someone's body, putting the parts of them you overlap with where you used to be, then you just pop back out in a different spot. Bank vault door is too thick? Just teleport multiple times and you'll get through safely as long as you can remain pretty still while going through it. If you can constantly teleport a tiny distance, you might be impervious to all attacks because stuff would get swapped before it impacts you, but that "might" is doing a lot of lifting. Though you probably also wouldn't be able to hear sound, so you would be vulnerable when having conversations or listening to music.
Also if you can telelport but leave your poop behind think how easy pooping would be!