this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2023
103 points (90.6% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26206 readers
1585 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] LegionEris@feddit.nl 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When I really click and get along well with them. When I just get someone inherently, I know they had a fucked up childhood. "It's complicated" is as close to a good relationship with their parents as most of my friends get. See, I myself wasn't raised right, to put it lightly. I have a sixth sense for people with childhood trauma. My best friend has cptsd, and so do I. We're crazy in the same way, and it's great.

[–] radix@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is a pretty unique answer. I'm sorry you and your friends had such bad experiences, but it's definitely good to have people to relate to.

[–] LegionEris@feddit.nl 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I try to own it pretty hard these days. There's still a surprising amount of stigma around the actual facts of truama, despite the language of truama becoming mainstream and the effects of generational truama being a central theme in popular art for the last twenty years. People aren't embarrassed to say that they had a shit childhood or that something bad happened to them anymore. They're embarrassed that it isn't entirely in the past, that they show signs of traumatic things they haven't fully accepted as part of themselves. And they can't find people to relate to because they can't acknowledge an essential part of themselves. I try to turn that part of their life equation on its head: I immediately call out and identify with truama responses and patterns whenever I see them.

[–] wheeldawg@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

We should be friends lol.

Depends on point of view, some would say it's basically normal. I don't really put much on them for being intentionally bad, or even consciously bad.

But maybe that's just part of how messed up I got? I dunno.

At this point I'm still learning how to be a normal person, but I don't really blame them for how they think. I blame them more for never leaving their little religious matrix.

But I think part of it is just growing up in this region. Very conservative, and for them even admitting that there could be another explanation for anything is basically telling Satan "please drag me straight to the bottom of hell immediately".

More specifically, it's just religious trauma at this point, not physical abuse. Well, no more than the typical "spank the fuck outta yo kids" that most thumpers tend to believe.

Maybe that's just as bad in some ways though. I never felt hated or anything like that though, so I got that going for me. Which is nice.