TheActualDevil

I didn't enjoy the Enders Game series, but I did enjoy the Alvin Maker series, and it blows me away with how far that man's personal beliefs are from that of his books. Years ago I used to work with a girl who's family was close friends with his (same Mormon community and all that). She saw one of his books in my back pocket and went on a tirade about how people are unfair to him (because of the horrible things he said about his beliefs) and I immediately lost interest in hooking up with her like we'd been flirting towards.

Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson. The whole series really. The overall theme is change/growth. The books are chonky, and that gives him the room to do what he does best: character work. There's a range of characters with a broad spectrum of personality types and issues, so it's easy to find something that you relate to. Main characters with depression, PTSD, complicated pasts. And while they do grow and improve, it's definitely more realistic than a lot of books I've read. It's not easy or a straight path to getting better, and sometimes they stumble. But the books do a great job of showing that those things are completely normal and part of personal growth. The people around them give them the support we all wish we had, giving a good model for how we can support those in our lives.

Just a couple quotes that have stuck with me for years:

From Words of Radiance: "Keep cutting away at those thorns, strong one, and make a path for the light."

From Oathbringer: "It’s terrible,” Wit said, stepping up beside her, “to have been hurt. It’s unfair, and awful, and horrid. But Shallan . . . it’s okay to live on." ... "Wit?” she asked. “I . . . I can’t do it. He smiled. “There are certain things I know, Shallan. This is one of them. You can. Find the balance. Accept the pain, but don’t accept that you deserved it.”

That's literally all work in capitalism. You use your time and body to do things for other people in exchange for money. We're all prostitutes, only a few of us have sex for it.

And some people don't view sex that way. And sex work isn't just about having an orgasm. That's what masturbation is for. My understanding is that people who frequent sex workers do it for the human connection. That doesn't mean an emotional connection, but human touch and physical intimacy are important for all human's mental health. I've heard stories from sex workers where the customer doesn't even end up wanting sex but to talk a bit and have someone hold them for a bit. Usually they prefer the respectful ones who just want sex with a human and leave though.

Why do you hate sex workers?

Is it typical to give a whole run-down of your sexual history when dating? Like, I've mentioned previous encounters or exes when it comes up, but rarely near the beginning of the dating process. In my experience people tend to not have those discussions. Not because it's bad but because it doesn't matter. When I meet a new woman and start seeing them, I don't need to hear about or care about their past relationships unless it's something they feel they want to share for whatever reason.

It sounds like you don't think sex work is immoral, so I wouldn't bring it up unless it's something that would actually affect your current relationship. If sex is casual enough to commodify then it's not something that would be brought up when getting to know someone. Do you also give them a run-down of every meal you've ever bought at restaurants?

I think it fucks up the marriage (divorce) racket for women due to the fact it’s simply cheaper and a lot less hassle.

If people are getting married just to have sex, they probably shouldn't be getting married in the first place. And I can't imagine that the marriage for that woman would be great.

Gonna be honest though, your phrasing kind of gives off "sees women as pieces of meat to fuck" energy. And while we're here, plying women with alcohol doesn't sound super consensual to me. If she doesn't want to fuck you sober, don't do it.

But if it's illegal there wouldn't be legal brothels around?

And I haven't followed through but I've looked into prostitution in my area through various means. There do seem to be fairly moral options in my opinion. People who work independent and interact directly with the customer and they keep all the money. They have their own space to meet and they have the option of refusal at any time.

I'm not saying you're doing this intentionally, or that what you're saying is harmful, but I do worry. It feels like you're demonizing an entire industry and adding to the idea that it's immoral unless done through brothels. Sex work is work, and while often people end up there out of necessity, that's not much different than any other job people work these days. I would say that people who knowingly pay for sex work where the worker doesn't have their full autonomy is, at best, selfish and shortsighted.

Or are you saying that because it's a crime, by paying for it they're contributing to the sex worker also doing something illegal and that's bad?

Sure, that's the concept, and it's a problem. But that's not what the name "Human Resources" means. That's like saying the office of Veteran Affairs is implying that veterans are themselves affairs. The title is obviously meant to imply resources for humans. It's a lie, but that's what those words are supposed to mean. It's not called "Humans are Resources."

Have you ever watched a movie? Were you blown away by all the execs they added in the credits and assumed they must have had thousands of others under them not mentioned? Or do you not typically assume every other industry follows the same standard as yours?

What you said is akin to me saying "Why are they expecting their name on things? The restaurant I work at doesn't put my name on the menu when I'm cooking that night."

It's a different industry and I would be foolish to assume the standards in mine definitely should translate to others, and then confidently comment publicly about it.

"It's a very true dichotomy!"

Proceeds to make up an imagined scenario with a ridiculous fake name to prove it's reality.

I mean, sure, you can blame this batch on the internet and necessary SEO, but good artists being skipped over is nothing new. There were days before the internet (and even after it's implementation, but before the ecosystem you are talking about existed) where artists and band with immense talent were lost to time because things didn't line up just right for them to be successful. Bands played gig after gig, sending their singles to record companies and nothing happened. Just being good at a thing has never been enough. That's just step 1. Often, the right person has to see you, and that person has to be in the position to elevate you at the time. Maybe that industry guy was just in a bad mood that day and wasn't enjoying any music and you just got a bad night.

And we have examples of visual artists dying in obscurity only for their art to hit it big after their death. It's a whole trope in the art world. Van Gogh is probably the most famous. He died penniless having only sold a single painting while alive, and that was to his brother, a frickin art dealer! He even had a guy on the inside and couldn't make it. Impressionism was a new school, but not exactly empty. As a genre it basically got it's own museum in the Musée d'Orsay, and still, one of the greatest artists in the genre (and probably all art) couldn't get a fucking break. Talent is often not enough. Luck and timing have always been more important.