Susaga

joined 1 year ago
[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 hour ago

If someone spends money to use a search engine, they will find a way to force that search engine into any conversation they can. It's like how if you spend thousands on a bottle of wine, you'll show that bottle off whenever you have guests over.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

The time taken for "a" typing monkey? We have infinite monkeys! Why are we putting the entire burden on just one of them? One of them takes Hamlet, another takes King Lear, two of them collaborate to write Twelfth Night...

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 day ago

To quote the theme song of a science show on BBC radio:

If infinite monkeys type every day
They may accidentally write ‘Hamlet’ the play
But they'll probably shit on it and throw it away
In the Infinite Monkey Cage

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm sure if Putin asked nicely enough...

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago

You know those people who have no creative skills or drive, but want to be thought of as a creative?

You know those people who have this really neat idea for an app, but they don't plan on making it themself because they're "just an ideas guy"?

You know those people who will offer to pay in exposure? I mean, do you really need to be paid just to draw some pictures anyway?

You know those guys who send you a picture they got from google images and claim this to be a girl they know?

That's the vast majority of the AI audience. I could probably sum that up with the word "parasite", but I wanted to be thorough.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Please actually read someone's comment before summarising it. You'll do a better job if you do that.

Bush has done a terrible deed that Trump did not have the opportunity to do. Trump has done multiple terrible deeds that Bush DID have the opportunity to do.

Saying Trump is better than Bush is like saying I'm a better friend to you than that burly sailor. Sure, I didn't sleep with your mother, but we know damn well that I would have if I had the chance.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Yes, Trump hasn't killed a million people. Trump was not the president in the days after 9/11, where the majority of americans supported a war on Iraq. Trump did not have the same opportunity to kill a million people that Bush did.

However, we can see Trump's opinions on Palestine. We can see Trump's opinions on Ukraine. We can see just as much malicious support of genocide as Bush had, if not more. The only difference is the opportunity to act on it.

So I won't use the Iraq war as a marker of morality. That's not a fair comparison.

I will instead judge them based on a situation that both of them had, where only one of them took it. Bush had the opportunity to cheat on his wife and embezzle campaign funds to hide it. Bush had the opportunity to hide government secrets in his private residence. Bush did not do these things.

Please note that being better than Trump is such a fucking low bar, it's astonishing you think that means I'm saying Bush isn't a piece of shit. Less repugnant than Trump is still fucking repugnant.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (5 children)

Trump has not been in a situation where he can declare war on Iraq. He has been in a situation where he can threaten to pull support from Ukraine if they don't help him rig an election, and has said Biden is too hard on Israel. So they're the same on morals in that regard, if not opportunities.

But both of them have been in elections. So with the same baseline situation, Trump is worse.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 days ago (7 children)

Good man? No. Better than Trump? Yes. That is not a high bar. As far as I am aware, Dubya didn't cheat on his wife with a pornstar, then embezzle money to silence so he could win an election, all the while talking about taking advantage of his fame so he can molest women.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 9 points 5 days ago (9 children)

No sane person can listen to a second of Trump and call him less evil than anyone. Anyone who votes for him is voting for a fascist state, and you're not fooling anyone by pretending you're not.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 week ago

They're asking for things they can do, so I'm assuming they're able to do things. So if they have the ability to do something, they have the ability to go and get help. It's not a motivation issue.

My issue is they're asking a question they know the answer to, but they want a different answer. And it's not the first time they've done that.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works -3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No, I know it's a difficult journey. My bestie struggled with hers for a long time. But she wasn't defined by her depression. She went and got help to deal with it. Even with help, she still struggled, but less than she would have otherwise.

Meanwhile, this person has a solution in front of them, and they spend more time coming up with reasons it won't work than actually trying to do it. Help IS available, as people keep pointing out. Heck, last time they posted something like this, I responded with a list of support hotlines by region on wikipedia.

As far as I can see, the only think stopping them from getting help is themself. So they need to get over that obstacle.

 

So they can hide in cherry trees.

Alright, why don't you ever see elephants hiding in cherry trees?

Because they're very good at it.

 

That's an offer that's hard to turn down, or at least to look into a little. And the sign is right by the house with the dog sat on the porch, so it's easy enough to check out.

"So, you can talk, huh?"

"Yep" says the dog.

The man is surprised and impressed. "How did you learn to talk?"

"Oh, I was part of a government program run by the CIA to create a new genus of super dog, genius level intellect and top quality skills. I was the only one of the litter who could talk, so they fast tracked me up to being an agent. They taught me how to use a gun with my mouth, how to drive with my paws, how to diffuse a bomb with my tail, and even how to parachute into hostile territory. Apparently, thanks to the genius genes, I learned even faster than the human agents, and I was sent to Russia as a spy within a month.

"I had an amazing time chatting up the local pooches, begging diplomats for treats, and feeding top secret info back to the states. My work even helped delay the war on Ukraine by 2 years, but I blew my cover when I called Putin a jerk straight to his face. He sent his top guys after me, and I had to flee through the city. Jumped onto a train through Serbia and swam across the Bering Strait into Alaska.

"Unfortunately, Putin sent an assassin after me as I was moving through Canada, and he caught my dominant paw. I had to take the guy out with one of my ears, but I managed to survive, and my wounds healed really well. Now I'm retired, so I decided to keep this town safe."

"Holy crap" says the man, transfixed. When the dog's owner comes out, he looks up at the guy and asks "Why the heck are you selling him for only $5?"

"Cause he's a frickin liar! He's never spent a day outside of Utah!"

1
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by Susaga@sh.itjust.works to c/jokes@lemmy.world
 

The genie appears before him and declares "I am a powerful genie! Due to budget cuts, I will only be granting one wish, but you can wish for anything you desire and I shall make it come true!"

The farmer wastes no time. "My neighbour, Peter, was once as poor as me. One day, he received a cow as a gift, and he began to sell the milk. Suddenly, he is earning twice as much. He could afford to fix the roof, he bought new clothes, and he even took a day off to have wild sex with his wife. That cow made his life so much better than it was before."

The genie nods. "I see. So, your wish is..."

"Kill his cow."

 

He couldn't see that well.

 

Real person, fictional character, or even just hypothetical: I wanna hear it!

1
submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by Susaga@sh.itjust.works to c/jokes@lemmy.world
 

There are only two survivors, both of whom are Christian men. They start walking, hoping to find civilisation and a source of food and water. Each sand dune is hell, but they push themselves forward to climb over it. Days pass and their thirst aches their throats, but they keep walking. Finally, their journey pays off, and a village comes into view.

One of the men turns to the other and says "look, we're in a muslim country, and it's a desperate situation. I say we pretend to be muslim. They'll take better care of us for it."

The other man looks aghast. "What? No! I'm a Christian and proud! I have nothing to be afraid of."

As dawn breaks and their legs are about to drop, the men reach the village. A man spots the pair and approaches them, wearing a robe, an imama, and sporting a lengthy beard. "Who are you?"

"I'm Muhammed" says the first man, his real name Peter.

"I'm John" says the second man.

The muslim man takes John by the shoulder, pulling him into the village. "It must have been a long walk, you must be tired. Please, we have plenty of food and water, and there should be a bed for you somewhere."

Then he turns to Peter and opens his arms wide, a warm smile on his face. "Salaam, Muhammed! Happy Ramadan!"

 

This is purely hypothetical, just for fun. In this scenario, you don't get to know who the GM is in advance, but they do have to run it as written. The players can leave whenever they like, but the GM has to stay until either all players leave or the players beat the dungeon.

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