this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] RacerX@lemm.ee 27 points 1 day ago

It was made for me! This is my bandwidth!

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Around 2010-ish someone made a supercut of all the times in thriller cinema the phone service disconnected, since writers still felt the need to close the circle.

So I got the idea for a mystery / slasher / thriller called Cell Plan based on the family cell provider plans at the time, where groups were discounted more based on the size of the group.

A group of teens / young adults get a giant group cell plan right before their vacation out at Camp Scream. It's a great plan with great connectivity, and everyone can even see where everyone else's phone is on their GPS / Map service.

Moreover, the cell service never fails throughout the story, even in places that it shouldn't work (no explanation, nothing supernatural, just that communication blackouts are not part of this story). People might even think it's bizarre when they're way out in Whispering Lake or down in the Bloody Mines, in places where service normally cuts out.

And then throw bunches of cell phone tropes that elevate the suspense: The first victim's phone is found before her body is. One couple who sneaked off together get split up but take each other's phones. Someone forgets their phone back at the cabin, which is then grabbed by the killer (who then uses it to get close to a victim). The killer is holding someone's phone and stalking a running teen while another one sees them on the map and is giving directions.

Eventually, they'll do all the open-circle things: Call the police (they'll show up an hour or two later), call family, maybe even get help from an expert to get the power on again.

PS: If anyone is actually connected to a studio or cinema production team or whatever and wants to turn this notion into a script, do so with my blessing. It's just an idea, and I don't like IP anyway.

[–] AscendantSquid@lemm.ee 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How do you mean "close the circle" in this case? Do you mean the writers of the films were trying to limit the amount of characters involved in the story? I read through the link but I'm not sure I understand what you mean by the "circle" stuff.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

The closed circle of suspects is a mystery trope that has commonly carried onto the slasher / thriller genre even though it's not necessary. The purpose isn't necessarily to limit suspects, but also to keep the victims within the killing box (Fringe examples might be Phone Booth or Speed ).

In cozy mysteries, this was a narrative device not just to box in the culprit and the victims, but also to make it clear to the reader that this is your set of suspects. (Mysteries traditionally were puzzles that the reader was supposed to be able to follow along and solve with the clues found by the investigator... though the authors didn't always play fair.) The classic example is the bridge between mystery-thrillers and slashers, And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie, in which the trek to the island and an imminent storm really secures the notion that no-one is getting in or out. (Plot point: -- 🤓 -- Vera Elizabeth Claythorne, a PE instructor is quite fit and a strong swimmer, and might have been able to swim to shore and either outrun or weather the storm. She chooses not to, though.)

This whole exercise was started by a supercut of movie instances in which phone service failed, a narrative device to lock in the participants (killers, investigators and victims alike) and lock out anyone else, and this was during that societal transition as people adjusted from often being separated, to always having a connection handy.

My point for the exercise was to note that instant communication may make a circle leaky, but it adds bunches of cool new tropes, and doesn't require turning off the phones (or the prior murderer trick, cutting the house phone lines.)

I have a different rant about the police, who, in mysteries go from clever and central to the solution to totally useless without the investigator. But in the 21st century, they can also turn your mystery into a dystopian horror as they SWAT into your home, kill all the minorities (and the dogs) and arrest everyone else for the homicides they [the police] committed.

[–] AscendantSquid@lemm.ee 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I really appreciate you taking the time to clear that up for me, I see what you mean now. I was never really into scary movies but the kind of movie you've described sounds really interesting.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 20 hours ago

You're quite welcome. I'm a whodunnit genre nerd so I love talking about it.

[–] Acinonyx@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 1 day ago

that's because wlan cables are laid underground

[–] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 124 points 2 days ago (2 children)

The wifi naturally accumulates in underground spots.

Or was that radon? Always get those confused.

[–] Kyle_The_G@lemmy.world 55 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 2 days ago

A lot of people don't realize that the wifi that they are used to is artificially made. The best wifi and the most ethical wifi is grown naturally underground and is harvested by established naturalists that won't harm the ecosystem by harvesting too early or too much.

[–] M137@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Cave to phone*

Finally, a wholesome alternative to 5G

[–] gofsckyourself@lemmy.world 59 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm so fucking glad this meme was censored, since we all know it's illegal to swear on the Internet. It's even better that the attempt was so shitty that it did absolutely nothing to hide the word and only helped to bring attention to it instead. Fantastic work.

[–] callouscomic@lemm.ee 24 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

User name

Tap for spoilerfucking

checks out.

[–] gofsckyourself@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Bad jokes like these make me feel right at 127.0.0.1

[–] gofsckyourself@lemmy.world 2 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

It makes you feel at localhost? Fancy.

[–] SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 22 hours ago

I know you know what I mean, so I'm similarly going to also pretend I don't know that and simply state: oof.

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 99 points 2 days ago

They found the WiFi mine.

[–] ohellidk@sh.itjust.works 80 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Honestly that would scare the shit outta me. Why in a cave? Is someone luring me in?

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 81 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Also what was the SSID? “FreeCaveWifi”?

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 22 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Oh, I thought it said Free Cave Waifu...

[–] superkret@feddit.org 3 points 1 day ago

I read "Free Café" and I don't care if it's a trap.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 10 points 2 days ago

Aw shit, I got lost for noting.

[–] burgersc12@mander.xyz 3 points 1 day ago

Bro its the government doing secret WiFi shit down there, probably working with aliens too.

[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 40 points 2 days ago (2 children)

That's an SCP, but I̴ ̴d̶o̵n̷'̶t̶ ̴r̷e̸m̷e̵m̴b̷e̸r̷ w̸̲̮̃h̴̡̛̲͎̙͌̚i̸͚̗̮̍́͆̄̂̆̅̈́͝ç̴̡̧̣̺͓͍̤̙̜̍̅͋̾̃̑h̷̗̝̳̻̙̓͊ ̴̮̭̥̩̱̭͍̥͆̂͗͒̒̓̂̒͝ͅǫ̸̹̯̳̞̫̫̟̲͍̿̊̔̏͝n̶͇̥̜̫̝͐e G̴̡̢̛̘̺͉̜͔̘̺̹̳̭̖̩̥̟̼̿̌̋̈́͊̈́é̶̡̨̥̪͎͉̙̪̮͈̜̯̭̭͕̞̰͔̮̂̏̀̂͑͛͌̈̉̌̾̈́͒́̎̓̀̈̈́̈́̈͑͗̽̍́́̇͗͊̐͘͘̚͝͝͝͝t̸̢̡̢̨̨̛̛̘̺͖̩̪̬͕̮͔̪̞͎̠̲̙̹̜̤̣͖̻͎̘̺̭̘̬͈̭̝̩͔̬̖̩͖̝̣̻̗̹̗͌̂̂̑̓̒̊͑̏̄̊͂̊̾̌́́͗̀̈́͒̊͐͒́̉͛͋̈̃̉͋̈́̕͘͠ͅ ̵͉͕͓̣̋͋́̆̂͐͛̎̍̓͂̈́́͊̓͐̈́͝͝͝͝ơ̵̢̧̢̢͔̳̲̖̪̮͕̗͉̯̤̳̲̱͖͔̞̫͙͉͉̻̦͓̝̞̓̓́̌͌̊̽̀͆̏̑̂̆͊̓͑̈̂̎̆́̾̏́̎͌̈̚͘͘͘͝ͅͅư̴͎͉͍̰̭͖̱͓͊͒̎̀̐̈́̋̓̔̅̓̓͛́̂͊̓̌̊̓̀̀̈́͆̎̄̊̽̊̿͐̇̄̏̆̿̚͘͘͠͠͠t̶̨̡̧̡̧̛̤͉̩̬̬̭̦̣̭͙̹͙̩̭̫̱͖͉̜̭̦͙͖̫̪̜̪̫̙͈̪̠̤̗̫̰͌̇͋̈͊̀̄̉̾̉̿̒̈́̾̔͊̔̂̾̒͛̀̍̃̔͆́̀̍̾̈́́̊͆̇̈̈́́͋͋̅͘̚̚̚͠͝͝ͅ ̴̢̨̢̧̛̛̦̫̞̱̪͍̗͖̝͕͖̗̟͔̫͖͎͎̪͕̠̘̖̩̻̩̜͇̩̃͗̀̌̾͆̐̍͊͐͋̀̓̒̒̅̈̆͛̾̾͂̅̌̇̈̃͑̓̏̓͌̋͑̕̕͘͜͜͠ơ̵͈͙̖̜̮̗̬̟̭̞̙͚͓͖͎͙͕̣͍̣͉̱̩̝̗͙̝̫̐̀̔̉̏̈́͂͆͛͂̃͆̄̀̇̈́̍͒̓́̈́̏̿͗̀̓̏͆̑̿̋̅̑͒̈̾̇̎́́̄̀͆̚͠͝f̴̨͍͈͎̲̬̺̯͈̰̰̬̟̮̥̘̱̙̱̺̯̤̿ͅͅ ̵̡̝̦̲̟͇̙̙̎̋̋͛̉͗̐͌̀̇̄̈̿̈̈̒̄̓̌̄̒̒̓̐̌̍̓̓͗̎̏̓̚͝͝t̴̡̨̢̛͕̦͍̹̹͚̣͈̘̬̹̬͕͇̝̗̱͇͍͉̟̘̆̆͗̈́̽̓̌̒͗̈́̈́͐̏̀̐̀̏̈́̊̃̓́͋̌̕͜͝ͅͅḩ̶̭̦͙͓͂̃͠e̸̢̠̥̦̹̝̮̦̬̠̤͎̠͋̌̿͆͂̎̂̎̽̎̈́̋̈͑̅̈́͊̆̀̄̏̾̓̀͛͛̃͛̆̆̏̇̑̒̀̔̀̏̂̽̅͘̕̕͜͠͝͝͝ṟ̶̨̧͈̹̬̻̮̪̭̫͈̼̟̯̰̼̙͕̳̪̩̣̩̳̯̲͍̘̓͋͐̓̒̆̍̈́̃̓͐͗̀̈́̈̎̀͛̔͒̚͜͝͠͠͝ę̵̢̢̡̝̘̯̰͙̘͉̥̖͔̬̳͙̤̙̟̼̝̰̣̱͙̠̹̭̗̼̘̥̱̖̪̠̹̜̗̫̟̰̮̙̌̌̑̆̊͌͊̌̐̚ͅ

[–] LePoisson@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Which one is it?

I found this one and it's a fun little read but not sure it's what you're referencing.

https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2935

[–] deltapi@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

That was clever. Thanks for the share.

[–] Emotional_Engi@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 days ago

Underrated comment

[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 37 points 2 days ago

They got to mine the wifi out of somewhere, don't they?

[–] collapse_already@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 day ago

The caller is inside the house with you.

[–] merari42@lemmy.world 27 points 2 days ago

Something something Plato's cave

[–] floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 2 days ago

Secret WiFi 8 underground lab

[–] normalexit@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

opens Google maps

Shit

[–] countrypunk@slrpnk.net 3 points 2 days ago

Is this loss

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago