I was taking a history class at my local junior college when the professor asked who in the class identified as a feminist. I'm an old white guy in a class full of kids (finally getting a degree) and was one of only 3 people to raise their hands. He explained that he doesn't since he's for equality for all or some such.

I was honestly shocked to see this 30 something guy who at least sounds fairly progressive, and who has been to some legitimately horrifying parts of the world doing conflict journalism, being blase about this fight.

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 4 points 6 hours ago

one of the self defenses of patriarchy is definitely just to misinform people about whom feminism is for, and so oftentimes that’s one of the first hurdles to overcome when discussing feminism. that’s why conservative spheres are often so obsessed with the “man-hating feminazi” stereotype—even though they make up a incredibly marginal subset of “feminist” voices, giving them a platform creates a useful strawman for conservatives to argue for the need of anti-feminism.

[–] Sir_Premiumhengst@lemmy.world 7 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah. I think Emma Watson has also said sth similar. Feminism is, in some extent, also about people who identify as men to embrace what they perceive as womanly jobs. Being a socially acceptable stay at home dad will earn you a lot of weird looks and snarky comments questioning your sexuality.

And I understand that that's no where close to the shit that women and people beyond the gender binary experience on a daily basis.

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 4 points 6 hours ago

emma watson is lowkey the goat, i should pay more attention to what she puts out :) thanks for sharing

[–] solomon42069@lemmy.world 63 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Growing up, I used to cross dress and lip sync my favourite divas for my friends and family. No one seemed to mind that except my parents who flipped out over it ( Catholic ).

Frankly I don't think any child should be ashamed of having a bit of fun. I don't remember thinking "yeah I'm gonna be a girl now" - I was just dressing up to make my sister and cousins laugh... But society loves to project it's ideas onto kids hey!

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 11 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

I mean arguably even if you did "become a girl," why's that bad?

[–] pythonoob@programming.dev 7 points 16 hours ago

Cuz Catholic.

[–] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 119 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Ain’t this the truth.

I’m a cis guy who likes to dress feminine around the house, and figured I’d paint my nails sparkly red and green for Christmas. Went into (my very masculine place of) work with them and got a depressing amount of comments asking if I’m gay, or expressing concern that I might be.

My dudes, it’s painted nails. I’m not trying to rail you all. Not least because my standards are far higher.

[–] Hexarei@programming.dev 6 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Doing those kinds of things at home because they were fun actually led to me realizing I'm genderfluid recently. It's been crazy facing a part of my experience of life that the patriarchal society we live in essentially deprived me of up to this point: knowing how euphoric it feels to let myself want to be pretty and feminine sometimes.

[–] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

Amen to that, broster.

I’m lucky that my wife is enby and a similar size, so was happy for me to try on some of their clothes. Long story short, Vinted has enabled me to build up a small wardrobe of dresses, skirts, and pretty tops that I wear most evenings. It feels nice to feel pretty.

I’m basically Captain Shakespeare.

(Robert De Niro in Stardust, dancing in his dressing room wearing lingerie and a feather boa.)

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 83 points 1 day ago (7 children)

And this is also why its called homoPHOBIA. Often these people are literally afraid of gay(or any other queer) people. Nothings scarier than the unknown and especially if all your life theyve told you what horrible acts they perform.

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[–] laserm@lemmy.world 23 points 22 hours ago

"bUt NoRmAlCy.." Fuck this stupid, perverse idea of normalcy. People should be free to express themselves (as long as theyre not harming anyone ofc), no matter their gender. The freedom of expression is fundamentally programmed into the human nature and must be respected in a free society.

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 25 points 23 hours ago

hell yeah brother 💅

[–] Wrufieotnak@feddit.org 22 points 23 hours ago

That last paragraph sounds exactly like the words that need to be uttered to them.

[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 80 points 1 day ago (3 children)

It's a strange feeling, to look back on your life and suddenly see how society has crippled you, knowing how terrible it has been for you, and yet being such an essential part of you, you have neither desire to remove it from yourself nor regret.

Only a desire to stop it from happening to anyone else.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 27 points 21 hours ago

This, right here, is why I'm an extremely vigilant mentor for people in my industry. It will eat you alive and take until there's nothing left. Not letting that happen to anyone.

Same stance on parenting: my kids get to be whoever they want to be, and I'm right there with them. The only thing they can't be is an asshole

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 10 points 21 hours ago

Well fucking said. Shit goddamn.

I'm the devil's favorite son

Thank you, so much love.

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 19 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I wouldn't be able to stand up for others as effectively if I hadn't been at least somewhat hardened by the bullshit and bullying by now.

Unfortunately HTFU is valuable advice in a lot of blue collar spheres. When I give it I typically caveat that it's only a shell, and you have to remember how to take it off.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 18 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (2 children)

HTFU?

Hulk The Fuck Up? (labor)

Hate The Fucking Users? (IT)

Has Tomorrow's Finality Urged (ADHD)

Have To Finally Unwind (everyone)

Having Tits Fixes U (confused)

Hawk Tuah Feminist Union (strong straight women)

How The Fuck U still awake (me)

[–] WeLoveCastingSpellz@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 18 hours ago

having tits is fixing me :3

[–] Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works 8 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

I'm stealing some of these, but guessing from OP context it's probably Harden The Fuck Up.

Edit: Also, I wanna see a logo for the Hawk Tuah Feminist Union. Like, really badly.

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[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 40 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

They tried. Oh, sibling, did they try...

And the worst part is that you're fucked either way. If they manage to get you to murder your own soul, you're a husk. If they don't, you're a pariah.

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 16 points 22 hours ago (3 children)

Living life as a pariah isn't so bad, normal people admire when your principles haven't been cynically beat into the dirt

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[–] WeLoveCastingSpellz@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 18 hours ago

that's what I have been sayinh

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