this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2024
765 points (98.9% liked)

Not The Onion

12558 readers
1415 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

The skit that "missed the mark" occurred in a break in play during the second quarter of Charlotte's game against the Philadelphia 76ers on Monday. The child was brought onto the court with Hugo, the Hornets' mascot, dressed as Santa Claus. After a letter to Santa requesting a PS5 was read out loud, a cheerleader came out with a bag containing the video game console.

The young fan was visibly overjoyed as he received the pricy gift. However, according to an online acquaintance, he was less happy when the cameras turned off and a Hornets staffer took it away, replacing it with a jersey.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 177 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The skit that "missed the mark" . . .

Quit sucking up to corporate America, yahoo sports writer. The Hornets farked up a simple PR event in every way it was possible TO fark up. They baited and switched a PS5 with a t-shirt and thought no one would find out about it.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 113 points 6 days ago (5 children)

And they have so damn much money that giving him the PS5 would have been like you or me flicking a penny to the kid.

People suck sometimes, I swear.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 104 points 6 days ago (4 children)

This means there was at least one meeting where this plan was discussed and approved by multiple staffers who have jobs and salaries and manage to find their way to work and back home at night.

[–] Dnb@lemmy.dbzer0.com 46 points 6 days ago

Likely it cost more to have said meeting than the ps5 itself

[–] PM_Your_Nudes_Please@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I can almost guarantee that one of them wanted the PS5 for themselves, and insisted on swapping it out so they could take the console.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] DarkThoughts@fedia.io 131 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Jfc... How much of a psychopathic piece of shit do you have to be, to hurt a kid's feelings like that?! I fucking hate people.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 69 points 6 days ago (6 children)

I swear The Boys gets more and more blatant with how evil Corporate America is, but cmon, this episode is just completely ridiculous. Not even Homelander would be that ev....

Wait this happened in a REAL Sportsball game? This is not a bit? sugh

I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 175 points 6 days ago (3 children)
[–] NateNate60@lemmy.world 53 points 6 days ago (10 children)

How would this commenter know that?

[–] ogeist@lemmy.world 69 points 6 days ago (6 children)

I mean surely it could be a lie but they just took away a PS5 from a kid...

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] tobogganablaze@lemmus.org 41 points 6 days ago

By having met her.

load more comments (8 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] ShellMonkey@lemmy.socdojo.com 142 points 6 days ago

I might suggest that the kid got a nicer present in the form of a reason to file suit against the team for the embarrassment and emotional distress. Using the kid for a BS publicity stunt is not acceptable.

[–] rottingleaf@lemmy.world 129 points 6 days ago (11 children)

LOL. Cheap bastards. I mean, PS5 is an expensive gift, but not for such an occasion, no?

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 105 points 6 days ago (2 children)

The team has revenue in the millions. They'd never have noticed the money. This should be in the dictionary under Penny Wise, Pound Foolish.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] DandomRude@lemmy.world 83 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

Compared to the marketing expenses of even very small companies, a PS5 is so ridiculously cheap that these costs are not even worth mentioning.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 37 points 6 days ago

If a PS5 is too expensive to give away, then don't pretend to give one away.

I feel like I shouldn't have to say this.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] ansiz@lemmy.world 53 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I feel like this is so boneheaded that it has to be the case where the staff member in charge of this giveaway just wanted to keep the PS5 themselves and thought the kids wouldn't complain about the ol' switcheroo! This just even sounds like something Michael Scott would have done in The Office.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 49 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (5 children)

No, Michael Scott is a moron, not a jackass. He wouldn't pull this shit. He's tone deaf, he constantly thinks he's doing the right thing without realizing why what he's doing has the opposite of the intended effect even when it's obvious to everyone else. Giving a kid something he wants and then taking it away when no one's look is a move of calculated evil.

He'd imply heavily a PS5 then give the kid a Jersey, at no point would he actually have the thing in the kid's hand and then take it back.

Maybe that's just me, but I don't see Michael Scott as a character that would knowingly choose to do something immoral. He'd do a bad deed, but without realizing it.

Mike Scott's more the "We're taking away free tampons on the women's room, because we just don't have the money for luxury goods." type, who's then baffled when he's called sexist because he legitimately believed tampons were a luxury. Not the "Promote a woman? Are you insane? This is a man's office sweetheart!" type.

I could totally see Dwight taking the PS5 for himself and mocking the kid over it though. Even then he'd do it out of Chaos, not Evil.

[–] koper@feddit.nl 2 points 3 days ago

Michael kidnapped a pizza delivery boy because he didn't want to pay full prize. This fits right in.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] aesthelete@lemmy.world 59 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It'd be nice if people stopped acting like fucking psychos.

[–] jimbolauski@lemm.ee 28 points 6 days ago (1 children)

$500 for good press or $0 for bad. Looks like Charlotte is as bad at math as they are at basketball.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] VinesNFluff@pawb.social 27 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Certain headlines get really funny if you pretend sports don't exist.

Or, in my case for this particular situation, if you are a foreigner and are missing a lot of context for American Sports.

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The writer of this article is definitely a hornet.

The skit that "missed the mark"

[–] Beacon@fedia.io 103 points 6 days ago (18 children)

That's called theft. Legally a gift is irrevocable once it's given.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 16 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (4 children)

IANAL Warning

Indeed, there was a story a while back where a bar had a contest for their staff; Whoever could sell the most drinks would receive a new Toyota.

Well one woman who really needed a new car busted her ass for that, and was taking to a parking lot where she was given a stuffed toy of Yoda from Star Wars; a "Toy Yoda"

She was told it was a joke and there was never any realistic chance of some local pub giving away new cars to minimum wage staff.

Well she sued over this joke, and actually won because during the contest she specifically asked what kind of Toyota it was and was told by her supervisor; the one who started the contest in the first place. That it very specifically was a real car that would be paid for in full and put in her name at no cost to her. Which invalidated any claim to this being a gag or a hoax.

You can imply that the prize is whatever you want it to be, and give whatever you want the prize to be. But the second you specify what the prize is in no unsubtle terms, you have to give it.

It's why I can say in a public ad that if you show up to my house wearing a Ballerina Outfit and a Cowboy Hat, and then knock on the door in the rhythm of the BGM "Bloody Tears", I will give you 100 Grand. You have no case if I hand you a candy bar literally called 100 Grand.

But if I said "That's right, one hundred thousand dollars in cash!", that wouldn't fly and you can take me to court.

But If I stayed on message and only said 100 Grand, using THAT exact phrasing, especially if I make other misleading but accurate claims like it being "100 Grand, yeah that's something to really sink your teeth into" then what I'm doing is hillarious.

By putting the PS5 Box in the kid's hands and saying he won a Playstation, that ended any ambiguity, taking away the box and giving him a Jersey was an act of fraud.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (17 replies)
[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 104 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I guess I'll continue not watching basketball or football or whatever

[–] RandoMcRanderton@lemmy.world 39 points 6 days ago (1 children)

"Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 24 points 6 days ago

The thing about Arsenal is they always try to walk it in!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] weew@lemmy.ca 60 points 6 days ago

What fucking cheapskates.

Do they make their players turn out their pockets after each game in case they picked up some loose change off the ground too? Lol

[–] lorty@lemmy.ml 51 points 6 days ago

I bet the price of that console was going to break their bank.

[–] KingOfTheCouch@lemmy.ca 50 points 6 days ago (6 children)

I mean I would get it if they had an empty box out on the court for the show, and then having to take away the empty show box... But they gave the kid a jersey instead? Wtf?

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 48 points 6 days ago

That's fucked up.

[–] randon31415@lemmy.world 24 points 6 days ago (4 children)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 31 points 6 days ago (6 children)

Goddamn hornets, this is why everyone prefers bees

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Jimmycrackcrack@lemmy.ml 17 points 6 days ago (1 children)

See this is why everyone hates Hornets, first the bullshit with the not making any honey and then this shit. They're so aggressive.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] WorldwideCommunity@lemm.ee 16 points 6 days ago

Reminds me of the time some asshole tried to switch some kid who was meant to walk out on the field with Zlatan with his own and got caught Link: https://youtu.be/NFYN3bY0kc8

[–] morphballganon@lemmy.world 19 points 6 days ago

The only conceivable explanation is that the person who planned this sees audience members as less than human.

[–] MummifiedClient5000@feddit.dk 33 points 6 days ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 33 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

wait what? did they go back to the store and ask for a refund on the PS5, lol.... someone was like "that is fine we will just apologize and save a couple hundred bucks!"

[–] Cocodapuf@lemmy.world 25 points 6 days ago

That sounds about right, I've never gotten anything nice from a hornet. The one time I did get something from a hornet, it was a painful disappointment.

load more comments
view more: next ›