this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2024
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Showerthoughts

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A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. The best ones are thoughts that many people can relate to and they find something funny or interesting in regular stuff.

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[–] 01189998819991197253@infosec.pub 10 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[–] SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee 2 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

I have a chatGPT idea... edit: yea you can make it loop forever lol

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 18 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Jesus can spike a girl's drink from across the room.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 11 points 18 hours ago

He gets that from his dad.

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 4 points 18 hours ago

This is going to bother me from now on

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

"And on the third day, there was a wedding in Cana. Jesus' mother was there. When the wine was drunk, Jesus' mother said to him, 'We're out of wine.' 'Bruh... That's a big yikes. But why do I care?', replied Jesus.

Jesus mother instructed the servants, 'you just do whatever he tells you no matter how stupid it sounds.' Jesus sighed and turned to the servants saying, ' Okay. You see those jars? Nope. Not that one. The big ones. Yeah. Those big ones over there. Go fill them up with water. All the way up. Then take some of the water and give it to the host."

The servants were more than a little skeptical but shrugged and did as they were told. When the host of the wedding feast tasted the water, it had become wine. And the host exclaimed, "Damn! That is some good shit. Where did you get that from?" And the servants were amazed because they knew from where the wine came.

And the servants implored Jesus, 'Do it again! No, wait. Can you make something stronger this time?"

-- The Gospel According to [Skibidi] John

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[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 1 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

"Water to wine" was a metaphor for sneaking it into the party.

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[–] tunetardis@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago

Probably, but he had to leave something for bored celibate monks to do. There are worse callings than to devote a lifetime to finding all manner of ways to fortify wines.

[–] Shanedino@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (5 children)

Making water into wine was not something all that special, it used to basically be like a concentrate that you would then add to water to consume. Shoutout to the history of Rome podcast. So he could make more and more deluted wine with more water but it wouldn't become more concentrated.

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[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 0 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Pretty much, and for anyone wondering if God could create a rock he couldn't lift...

The answer is still yes, and he is then unable to lift the rock, but able to remove the limitation preventing him from lifting the rock at any time.

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[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 120 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works 2 points 22 hours ago

I want to make a pun but I still can't figure one out.

[–] Davidchan@lemmynsfw.com 15 points 1 day ago

Take your upvote and get out.

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 96 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Water + Jesus = Wine

Wine + Jesus = Brandy

Brandy + Jesus = Twice-distilled Brandy? Cooking sherry? Idk

[–] billiam0202@lemmy.world 45 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I choose to believe at this point, Jesus got so drunk he forgot to try it a third time.

[–] metaStatic@kbin.earth 42 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Is this really the blood of Christ? Man that guy must have been wasted 24/7

[–] acosmichippo@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

bro do you got any snacks to go with this

[–] ech@lemm.ee 12 points 1 day ago

You can have one tasteless cracker.

[–] cybervseas@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

All I can offer is some fish and bread.

[–] Kraiden@kbin.earth 9 points 1 day ago

It's all you can eat though, so there's that

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[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 41 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Yes. The power to do literally anything would allow one to do this.

[–] FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Can he create a stone that is not liftable and then proceed to lift it?

[–] dwindling7373@feddit.it 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Unironically the question by witch many Christian faiths differ: does God needs abide to the rules of logic or not?

For the Roman Catholic, yes, for Calvinists and a bunch other (ok, many other but I'm not an expert), no.

[–] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 9 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Answer: whatever causes the person you're arguing with to throw their hands up and storm off more exasperated..

[–] dwindling7373@feddit.it 4 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

No, not really, it's mostly a matter of power.

The Church itself is rooted in the idea that there are autorities on matter of faith and they adopted the Platonical Agostinean idea that faith is empowered by reason. Reason being a valid tool means you have experts that reasoned a lot about religion and people that know less and needs to be taught, ultimately by the Pope.

The "other" side tends to reject authorities, and take the words of the bible as sobjected to personal interpretation or, to an extent, make it into some sort of magical object that the faithfull subjects itself to, without questions. Accepting the contradictions, the illogal parts, are what that kind of faith is about because to question (throught reasoning) God is a Sin.

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 2 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Calvanists the ones that say since god is all powerful there can be no free will/everything is decided don’t apply logic?

[–] dwindling7373@feddit.it 2 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)

That's the one, funnily enough in a perverted twist, they tend to see wealth as a sign that God has picked them as favourites (graced them) and they storically gravitated toward seeing poor people as, well, sinners, even thought their principles state that anyone could be graced or not no matter the more evident aspects of life.

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[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 1 points 17 hours ago

Well Jesus, yes. Because Jesus let Himself die as well.

[–] Hexarei@programming.dev 10 points 21 hours ago

The easiest answer to this is yes, he could create a stone he couldn't lift. And then he could lift it anyway.

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[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 19 points 17 hours ago (6 children)

Yes? He's literally God and created the world. Doing other things as well like multiplying loaves and rising from the dead. I think He could make wine more and more concentrated, lol

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[–] grue@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No, because then the ATF will show up and shoot him.

[–] doingthestuff@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Certainly any dogs nearby RIP

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[–] Windex007@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No it is impossible for God to do that.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 11 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

Eventually it would just become brandy.

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[–] Allero@lemmy.today 11 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)

Everyone's focused on whether Jesus can do it or not while completely forgetting regular people can do that

Just, remove the water, c'mon.

[–] LesserAbe@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Late one evening a boy and his father were accosted by a mugger. The traumatic moment unlocked some kind of latent power within the boy. Frantically he tried to intervene, skin touched skin, and the assailant's blood turned to wine, fatal. But not before the cretin dealt a terminal blow to the father. And that night that boy became the hero we all know, Jesus Christ.

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