I've never needed a product this badly in my life. I have so many friends that compulsively pick up and fiddle with anything in my house that is not nailed down, this will be like catnip to them. Traumatic catnip. It will be my sweetest revenge.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 75 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And once the joke is over, you can celebrate with your wiener

[–] Senseless@feddit.org 25 points 2 months ago (2 children)

So I noticed two seams.. can you load the wiener both ways? That'd be some kind of celebration.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

[–] RacoonVegetable@reddthat.com 19 points 2 months ago

[–] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Now you can have a hot diggety great time with the Footlong Stroker Masturbator! You will be sure to get a full load of mayonnaise when you slip your firm shaft into this massive Stroker! Made out of a durable PVC Plastic on the outside with a “Real Feel” super soft skin silicone on the inside....this fun little Masturbator gives a whole new meaning to the term “Take me out to the ballgame”! This Discreet Play Toy enables you to proudly display it anywhere until you are ready to “Get Wild”...then Both ends screw off to reveal an Anus on one side (for the more adventurous)and a Vagina on the other. Sticking your wiener in a bun will never be the same. This is an outrageous play toy for the man who really “Loves” his wiener!

You're welcome. I think.

[–] I_Miss_Daniel@lemmy.world 37 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maybe you need one of these as well.

[–] Silentiea@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm so disappointed that it is a normal human dick and not a duck's corkscrew dick.

[–] I_Miss_Daniel@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

A few hours with a 3D printer and for wish could be granted!

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 50 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Honey, do you have anything for the garage sale?"

"Yea, I got tired of fucking this hotdog weeks ago."

"K babe."

[–] Silentiea@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 months ago

It was an estate sale, duh. For some reason no one wanted Grandpa's novelty Fleshlight collection.

[–] potatobro@lemmy.blahaj.zone 39 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Bruh who tf sells their Fleshlight at a garage sale

[–] Ranger@lemmy.blahaj.zone 27 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

The guy who buys a hotdog fleshlight.

[–] cheddar@programming.dev 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

People cheat with their neighbors, why can't they also fuck each other's fleshlights??

[–] InFerNo@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 months ago

When they got it as a gag gift and never used it, or because they themselves thought it was something else

[–] AsudoxDev@programming.dev 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)

You probably should mark this as NSFW btw.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 9 points 2 months ago

Sure.

[–] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

But what if OP works at the hotdog fleshlight factory?

[–] sleen@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 months ago

Still could be a dog chew toy without the 'chew' part

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 13 points 2 months ago

Hotdogussy

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Perfect gift for docking enthusiasts. Put your weiner in this weiner.

[–] SonicDeathTaco@lemm.ee 11 points 2 months ago

Is that what they mean by giving the dog a bone?

[–] Chef_Boyargee@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Glizzy guzzles you?

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Such a rip off hot dog, you have to bring your own sausage.

[–] lemmylommy@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

It’s just a weird fungus