Gonna say as someone who has had sex so as not to hurt the other person's feelings and then felt like shit right after, and then became paranoid other relationships are doing the same thing- this hits hard.
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Pity fucks aren’t good for anyone
You ever start replying to disagree with a comment and then realize the things you've normalized in your romantic past are a bit fucked up? That's where I'm at right now
I've had sex plenty of times I didn't really want to in the past. It goes like
She's horny and wants to fuck. I am not
If I say no it's a self esteem meltdown
If I say yes it's a bit of a workout that ends in cuddling, which I always want
It's just always felt better for my life to be an on demand dick machine than somebody who can say no
"Her reciprocating my feelings? No way that's possible. I want it so badly, but it's not something that happens to me. People just don't love me back. That's not how things work. How could anyone possibly fall for me?" (。╯︵╰。)
Edit:
I remember reading something to this effect in a story about a trans egg. It crushed me inside in a way that nothing else had. I've read stories of doubt and uncertainty, but nothing else had captured how attainable experiences can get blacklisted from your imagination. When you go so many years hating yourself, too scared and uncertain in your own identity to ever even try, you stop believing that love will ever happen.
I've worked through a lot of my self hatred, but I still struggle to believe that anyone will ever want me. I'm the one who wants; not an object of want. It hurts less if I give up hope, but rejecting the possibility only makes it less likely. I could ignore relationships for a longer time than other things I craved, but it's probably time to finally teardown this latest shield of false apathy.
From my personal experience the sapphic community (at least in G*rmany) is quite open to trans women/trans people in general.
It's not about me being trans and more about me being me. It's pure brainworms 😅
Oh I thought because you mentioned the egg experience. Anyways your brainworms arw lying. You do what you really want to!
The egg gave me brainworms, but the brain worms don't subsist on dysphoria anymore because they'd starve lol. Thanks though! I know they're lying and I'll make sure the lose uwu
omg it’s Celeste from Madeleine
Celeste :3
Hey, I had seen that meme around here some weeks ago, but I lost it and was searching it recently. Thank you, gonna share it with my friend now:)
I actually got it from way down my old download folder.
Why does the bottom line have two eyes on her right side
flounder.