this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
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politics

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[–] NineMileTower@lemmy.world 232 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (13 children)

I think Vance's problem is that he has no defense for anyone's claims. You can claim ANYTHING about Vance, true or not, and people are like, "Yeah, I see it."

My mom had JD Vance as a student in Ohio. He kept 3 of his pet frogs in his underwear during the day and no one knew why.

See?

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 118 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

did you enjoy the visualization?

[–] AbidanYre@lemmy.world 60 points 1 month ago (1 children)

AP can't prove he didn't keep pet frogs in his underwear.

[–] DScratch@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

And they were unable to find the frogs for comment.

[–] WindyRebel@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

They probably croaked at this point.

[–] PlasticExistence@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Have they checked in the couch?

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 56 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

His own party made racist jokes about his wife being Indian and this guy is like, "Yeah she's not white."

Wtf.

I would have taken any other answer, even the Will Smith slap. Jeez this fucking guy.

[–] DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 35 points 1 month ago

I think Vance’s problem is he’s super weird

[–] billiam0202@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Where'd he keep the rest of them?

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In the couch to keep them moist.

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[–] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 month ago

I ate the onion on that statement, good on ya

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That makes total sense. I just hope he took them out when he had carnal relations with the settee.

[–] don@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago

No, he wanted to be able to claim he’d been in “orgies”.

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

How many pet frogs did he had?

[–] modus@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

Normal amount.

[–] don@lemm.ee 3 points 1 month ago

Well, enough to keep three in his underwear.

[–] NatakuNox@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

I heard they were tadpoles but came out frogs. So they were in there for a while.

[–] crusa187@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 month ago

I heard he liked the extra couch friction gained from the frog warts.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Just look at the guy y'know

[–] xc2215x@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] MeekerThanBeaker@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Technically, ladies underwear, but I don't judge.

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[–] dogsnest@lemmy.world 106 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

James David (formerly ~~Duncan~~ Donald) Vance requests that he be referred to as JD. Makes fun of woman requesting to be referred to as "she."

That's weird.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 40 points 1 month ago

Hey, have some respect - the female anatomy terrifies him so much that he can't even stand to think about a period every time he looks at his own name.

[–] greenshirtdenimjeans@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

James Donald Bowman

Not Duncan but we dunkin on him

[–] dogsnest@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ya, I yanked Duncan outta my ass, thanks for the clarity!

[–] meco03211@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Your ass and a couch? That weird fucker will fuck anything!

[–] dogsnest@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

Taking "pillow talk" to its natural conclusion.

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 64 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Well, so far there are already unsettling rumors about his sexual attraction towards couch cushions and dolphins... That is pretty weird

[–] dogsnest@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

The singed monkey nuts stuff was above board, tho'.

[–] AbidanYre@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

Maybe he's the one that was inviting Cawthorne to all those orgies.

Lmao even Devin Nunes’ Cow got in on the trolling 😂

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 33 points 1 month ago (3 children)

i may have to eat my own words...

[–] FunderPants@lemmy.ca 39 points 1 month ago

Man, a lot of us are eating our words from the days before Biden dropped out. I chopped mine up into a salad, it was alright.

[–] ASDraptor@lemmy.autism.place 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You and I. What nobody was expecting is that Trump picked such a bad VP that it would ruin his race this bad.

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Unfortunately I don't think Donalds need to always be correct will override his desire to be a dictator and stay out of jail.

If Vance is still VP by election day then I'll be a monkeys uncle. I don't actually know what that saying is supposed to mean, but if I'm wrong then at least I get to be an uncle to a monkey and that's kinda cool, right?

[–] Seleni@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It was originally used by creationists to mock Darwin, and from there slowly entered the lexicon as an expression of disbelief.

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

It was originally used by creationists to mock Darwin

...and end up mocking themselves, in typical Dunning-Kruger fashion...

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[–] hibsen@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I've never been this thrilled to be wrong before.

[–] N0body@sh.itjust.works 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Guy running for VP: "JD Vance may have sex with couches, dolphins, and even more disturbing things the electorate will learn about soon enough, but JD Vance will be damned if JD Vance ever uses the devil's pronouns."

[–] Minarble@aussie.zone 2 points 1 month ago

Something something burnt monkey testicles

[–] blazera@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I want em to be roasted but it's a bit lame to see weirdness alone being condemned.

[–] BassTurd@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

I agree that being weird isn't a bad thing, but to someone with a complex like "Couch Fucker ~~JD~~ KY Jelly Vance" calling him weird is like poison. I'd like to think most of us that have weird tendencies or are socially nontypical can see the difference between weird and weird. Vance is weird.

[–] LovingHippieCat@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

Fuck Chris Cuomo in this clip, dudes reaction to a simple thing of Harris stating her pronouns are she/her at a town hall responds by saying "Mine too"

What a piece of shit. But hey, at least we know how to refer to Chris now, she's "so brave."

[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 month ago

The "No weird, no weird, you're the weird" defense isn't going to work this time.

[–] Buffalox@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

JD Vance may be the absolute best running mate Trump could have chosen.
I Applaud Trump's courage on this decision!

/s

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I think we are going to have to swap out the famous phrase "keep fucking that chicken" with "keep fucking that couch", at least when it comes to JD.

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/091/272/that-chicken-keep-fucking-that-chicken-demotivational-poster-1253223506.jpg

[–] TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Ernie Anastos... That's an 81 year old I'd vote for.

[–] xc2215x@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Good. He should be.

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