Asklemmy

The iPhone

If you count cars: A Skoda Octavia PHEV.

I love Skoda. I love the Octavia. It was my fourth Octavia and I already ordered two more for my staff. PHEV would have been ideal for our use case.

Well,things didn't go as planned.

The whole car was bugged with software and hardware problems from day one - controll units randomly crapping out, when my dealer wanted to replace them he often had to get 5 units because four would be DOA and the one that worked kicked the bucket before I left his premises. Highlights:

• A steering wheel coming loose (only slightly,but still)
• The main display that shows your speed,etc. randomly shutting down. (Especially nice as I live close to Switzerland with their exorbitant speeding tickets)
• Randomly playing a screeching sound at full volume (especially nice at 3am or when on a highway)
• Randomly shutting of AC, some motor controls , etc.

It took 12 months for VW to take that steaming pile back, and only we sued them (Shortly before the hearing).

Second place goes to LG which sold me a OLED TV for 2k that randomly showed faulty pixel lines exactly 3 years and 3 days after I bought it (so it's out of the extended warranty programs as well). And when asked for a quote for the repair they had the audacity to ask for almost the new price for the TV back then, aka 150% of the current market value - without even looking at it first. Good way to make sure that I never buy LG anymore.

Anything that relies on mini/micro USB for charging. With enough repeated use, they eventually cause an early failure of the device.

Maytag dishwasher and gas dryer. Maytag had always purported themselves to be a top brand. However, both of these products would not last more than 4 years. I should have bought the Bosch dishwasher like consumer reports told me.

Košs KPH30i headphones. Those fuckers are an actual health hazard. They will make your ears suffer for the crime of putting them on.

Really sad cause Porta Pros are incredible. And I usually see people suggest getting the KPH30i instead. Don't do that.

iPad can't open anything, keeps crashing. (relatively new)

When I was a child in the 90s I somehow scored a voice role in a hotdog commercial for the radio. I was paid a king's ransom for this, half of which my parents made me put in savings (wise), and half of which I spent on a brand new Sega CD (not wise).

The magic of postage stamp-sized full motion video took about three days to wear off, at which point all that was left was basically pure shit. They jacked me. At least I learned that lesson early.

Samsung M540 "Slyde" phone - The software was incredibly buggy including things like just randomly typing the wrong letter. Randomly bad tech is so much more irritating than tech you know is bad.

Google Nexus 7 (2012) - The tablet had defective chips that slowed down over time. Turned into a horrible slow piece of shit over time.

I purchased a razor branded Smartwatch, way back when. Thing could barely connect to my phone, it's battery life was atrocious when it did, and all it did was show the time and track steps. It didn't have any built-in notifications so you had to use a separate app. This was fairly early in smart watches though, it was pretty fad-esque.

Fuck the surface pro 3, you'll never get another cent from me Microsoft you fucking cunts! ( Except for halo mcc and infinite BUT NO MORE (unless the next halo is actually good but even the ONLY ON SALE))

Metal detectors, just in general. My BF has one and the metal detectors just don't like me for some reason, I could never achieve success with it, like everything was a needle in a haystack. He was always "the detector" and me "the photographer" and I guess stuff just doesn't transfer over well.

My current Amazfit smartwatch. The only good thing about it is the long battery life.

It's a piece of crap otherwise. Requires the data harvesting app to always be running in the background or it loses connection to my phone. It's slow, has ugly watch faces and the custom ones are awkward to install. I can't get it to work with Gadgetbridge. The always on display is so dim that it's useless. Pinging my phone doesn't work.

I don't know why I let the Internet convince me that spending £120 on this thing was a good idea. I'm going Casio or something next time around.

Reeder tablet that came as a promotion with something. Could barely keep a single app open, sometimes. At some point low spec just means e waste

I bought something on eBay for 10 dollars that was supposed to be able to copy key fobs. Didn't work.

Nintendo Wii: as a loyal Nintendo purchaser here from the Game & Watch, to the Super Nintendo, N64 and GameCube, but the Nintendo Wii never let me back up my purchased downloaded games in a way I could transfer to another Wii without online access. I get that that's now standard but it was the first time I was burnt by it.

A Xiaomi smartwatch. I never found any good use for its "smart" features and I had to charge the fucking thing all the time. So I ended up dropping it after a year in favor of a regular digital watch.

Moto Watch 100

I was willing to put up with a lot of sacrifices for a $100 smartwatch but I was not expecting the level of trash I received. Unappealing and cheap looking silver colored case, typos in menus, and navigating the painfully underperformant UI made me immediately regret my purchase. There were many other issues I’ve since pushed out of my memory. I packed it up for a return within 24 hours.

The ONLY positive was supposedly the battery lasted weeks but I didn’t want to use the damn thing for more than 5 minutes.

An early Samsung phone my spouse bullied me into taking over from him. I don't know how anyone likes those. I went to Google phones and they're the only good thing about Google.

Amazon Fire Tablet 7in. I bought it literally just to read PDFs, and it was so slow that it was basically unusable. I tried switching out the launcher to something more minimal (Niagara launcher I think), and I figured out how to disable the ads that were all over the place. It helped a bit, but not enough to overcome the hardware and Fire OS. (I think I needed ADB for both of those fixes; I had to put in some real work to unfuck that tablet.) Plus the screen was too small for my pathetic human eyeballs.

Was it worth $30? At the time, yeah, because I literally couldn't afford anything else, but I now have an $80 10in generic Android tablet that's wildly faster.

A smartphone

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cybiko

The Cybiko. Got it for Christmas and my father threw out the box before I could get the rebate for the mp3 player attachment. Didn't know any other kid with one, so the wireless communication was useless. The games all sucked anyway. Gaming on rubber buttons was always a terrible idea