this post was submitted on 31 May 2024
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I'm going to a dance party for the first time. I'm scared of becoming a fly on the wall. What can/should I do if this happens? Edit: It was a ton of fun. Thank you all for submitting your thoughts (lemm.ee)
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by throwawaysalami@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
24 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Are there some practical things you can do at that point? Or is that the cue you should just leave?

Some context: It's a Latin dance party. Meaning you dance with a partner. I do not have a very much experience with it (about 16 lessons, with half of them being repeats). I go there with some people I know, but am not all too well acquainted with.

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[–] RagnarokOnline@programming.dev 47 points 5 months ago

Look, I’ll be honest with you: I don’t know how this is going to go. You’ll have plenty of opportunity to be a fly on the wall.

That said, you’ll have plenty of opportunity to put yourself out there, too. By asking for a dance, you’re communicating “I’m here to have fun”. Try to say that to as many people as you can and you’ll have a blast.

Also, Salsa is so dang easy to do the basic step. 90% of the Latin dances I’ve been to have been just doing the basic step for the whole song and looking at people around me for inspiration of moves to try.

You’re gonna do great.

[–] LazaroFilm@lemmy.world 26 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Remember this: no one cares if you’re not a good dancer. What matters is that you are having fun. It’s also okay to be a fly on the wall, it’s okay to move your feet slightly while hugging the wall. It’s okay to close your eyes and pretend you’re dancing in your bedroom in front of your mirror, it’s okay to walk away and take a break if it becomes too much. Don’t force it, just remember to ask yourself if you’re enjoying what you’re doing. A party is about having fun, not winning a contest of popularity or a dance-off (you can totally have a dance off if you want to though). Enjoy!

[–] nokturne213@sopuli.xyz 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Ask people if they would like to touch your monkey.

Edit oops meant that as a reply to the op. Oh well, now it is the time on sprockets when we dance.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Some context: It's a Latin dance party. Meaning you dance with a partner. I do not have a very much experience with it (about 16 lessons, with half of them being repeats). I go there with some people I know, but am not all too well acquainted with

[–] LazaroFilm@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

My points are still valid. Because some people decide to dance with a partner and follow dance moves doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to enjoy your time and dance by yourself, just don’t take the center stage maybe. If anyone judges you for trying to trance then they’re the bad dancers. Vance should be inclusive, especially at a party. Have fun, and don’t stress it.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 25 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Just fucking enjoy yourself - however you prefer to do so.

[–] VaultBoyNewVegas@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago

I'm an introvert and this is something I've learnt. If I've agreed to go to an event then the event will only be as fun as I let it be.

[–] VoldemortsHorcrux@lemmy.world 20 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Chat to other wall flies/bar tender. Dance around in your own(I've seen guys/gals at the salsa bars jiggling round and swinging those hips, there aren't always enough partners). Smile, have a good time. You don't need others to make it a good time, put out a relaxed positive vibe and it'll come back to you

[–] Minarble@aussie.zone 2 points 5 months ago

Also spend some time just focusing on the music and enjoying it… everything else will follow.

[–] Onihikage@beehaw.org 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Remember that a dance party is a party - most people are there to have fun. I think the main thing to avoid, if you can manage it, is being so caught up inside your own head that you aren't looking at the people around you. Keep your back straight, your head high, your eyes off the floor. Basically, avoid the posture of a shrinking violet and you'll feel less like one. Even if you don't feel confident, maintaining a pose that looks confident will keep some of your fear away, and it will passively invite others to interact with you, which boosts your confidence a little more with each person you talk to.

Even if you spend the entire party standing around and watching other people dance, as long as you are actually watching the event, and mentally present for what's going on, you will gain something from the experience. Just remember that standing around and not talking to anyone is as much a choice as going up to someone and asking for a dance. Neither choice is wrong, but you have to live with what happens - or doesn't - based on what you choose.

All that said, you can do this! We believe in you!

[–] throwawaysalami@lemm.ee 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Thank you for your advice! The dance party was a ton of fun and I danced with lots of different people!

Just remember that standing around and not talking to anyone is as much a choice as going up to someone and asking for a dance.

This one in particular really stuck with me. And I was surprised how much truth there was to this line ^^

[–] Onihikage@beehaw.org 1 points 5 months ago

That's wonderful, I'm so glad you enjoyed yourself! And I'm glad I was able to help :)

[–] unknowing8343@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 5 months ago

I've said this a few times.

Parties are not my thing BUT if a friend asks me to go to a party with enough time (maybe 2 weeks), I can mentally prepare, schedule things out, and get my mind ready for a long, tiring night... But hey, with friends, which are people that generally add to your life. Now it's time to give back and make them smile by sharing that tiring time together.

Also, hydrate strongly prior to that night, and don't be hungry. Don't let anything stupid bring your mood down. And relax and enjoy. You've scheduled that time for you to freely waste. Own it.

[–] PeepinGoodArgs@reddthat.com 14 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Just have fun dancing

I did this sort of thing once at a Halloween party. I was by myself just dancing and it was fun af. Some random dude told me twice that I was the best dancer there, and I got to dance with a really hot girl for 2 seconds.

So follow Kat's advice. Just say fuck it and have fun!

[–] Sir_Kevin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 5 months ago

This should be the top comment. Seriously, quit thinking about it and just fuckin dance.

[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 1 points 5 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Just have fun dancing

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] allrian@lemmy.world 14 points 5 months ago

It's about fun. You will find people who still like to dance with you, even if you think you are not a pro.

Also it is not about hard skill but about the level of fervency! If you dance with confidence, it will look even better

[–] pelletbucket@lemm.ee 13 points 5 months ago

you should ask a partner "can you teach me how to dance?" if they say yes, you know they have the patience to dance at whatever level you're comfortable with. and it'll be a really good time

[–] loudWaterEnjoyer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 5 months ago

Back in my days we just took drugs

[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

Meaning you dance with a partner. I do not have a very much experience with it (about 16 lessons, with half of them being repeats). I go there with some people I know, but am not all too well acquainted with.

  • Assume you are the least experienced dancer of your acquaintance group.
  • Select the second-least experienced dancer of that group. That person will accept because they'll look good by comparison.
  • Have fun just trying out the basics with them and laughing about it.
[–] h3mlocke@lemm.ee 4 points 5 months ago

MOVE YOUR BUTT! 💃

[–] Blackout@kbin.run 4 points 5 months ago

Just dance like someone is shooting a revolver at your feet and you will do just fine.

[–] red_concrete@lemmy.ml 1 points 5 months ago

I can't believe no one has given this advice yet: https://piped.video/watch?v=vvmpc83nv4A

[–] nonailsleft@lemm.ee 0 points 5 months ago

Molly