this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2023
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Autism

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So i was told i had autism when i wa salmost out of elemtray school and ive always been treated like an outcast and everything is just hard for me. i feel like my family understands i have autism and other things but at the same time they just dont understand, if that makes sense. "normal" everday joe's bascilly act like total jerks to us and i dont understadn why they just asume who we are for no reason.

this all annoys me to say and ye si have depression too, is there a way to have atleast one person understand what its like being autistic by chance?

also sorry about ranting and being agry i hav ealot of my mind that i need to share.

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[–] Deestan@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

This sucks. And just ignoring it sucks.

It is probably what someone else have said - that it's just hard to get along with people if they give and expect a lot of communication channels via body language, tone, facial expression, speech tempo, and choice of words, and you aren't.

There are many tricks to conversation like smile, keep tone light, avoid saying "you" (for some reason this is often aggressive don't ask me how), but the best way to learn which of these things are most efficient for you to learn is via assistance from people around you.

The hard but sometimes very effective way: If someone is being a jerk to you, go to them and say some version of "I am sorry. I believe I have been rude to you, but I didn't intend to and I don't understand what. If you can explain it to me, I will try to avoid it in the future." Or, failing that, ask their friends in the same manner "I have offended X, and I am sorry about that, but I don't know what or how to apologize, can you help".

And for the love of bob, don't get defensive when they do tell you. Accept and think about it. Often you will realize it was on you. Even if they are wrong, there was still a communication problem that you at least know the location of and may steer clear of.

Sometimes you will find that people lack the introspective skills to help, but when it does work it's golden.

[–] Cybermass@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Usually people are rude to you because you are being rude to them without knowing it. Being very blunt and honest may seem like the only logical way to interact with people but normal people don't do that, it's weird.

Just try to be understanding that people will take what you say poorly, learn body language as best you can so when you see that negative body language you can explain yourself and your line of thinking. It may not help but the people worth having around will listen and understand why you said what you did or where you are coming from.

Just don't stop being friendly and kind, even when they are mean. If you feel you can't be nice just literally walk away from the situation, regroup and go somewhere else and be nice and friendly and kind again, do it to everyone all the time.

If you are always very friendly and nice then when you autism out and say something that to you is just a fact or being honest but to them is insulting, they will be more likely to hear you when you explain your line of thought, and they will be more likely to understand you weren't trying to hurt them.

There are people out there that just suck and will be mean regardless, but what I wrote about is the case most of the time.

[–] Yasuke@lemmy.fmhy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

You’re still human. You still get respect, love, and friendship on my end dude. Do you happen to game?

[–] RoseyCat@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I’m not autistic, but two of my kids are. I explain to them that nobody is normal, and we all have our own little world in our mind. It’s ok to be different, and make sure to surround oneself with good people. Sometimes people (esecsilly children) can he assholes, but that’s what’s wrong with them not you.

I’m the only severely visually person in my life, and nobody will understand how different the world is for me. That’s ok though because what they do understand is when I need help, and if they don’t it’s ok to speak up and ask for it.