this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2023
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Autism

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How can i cope with autism knowing im "diffrent" (lemmy.fmhy.ml)
submitted 1 year ago by QuietStorm@lemmy.fmhy.ml to c/autism@lemmy.world
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So i was told i had autism when i wa salmost out of elemtray school and ive always been treated like an outcast and everything is just hard for me. i feel like my family understands i have autism and other things but at the same time they just dont understand, if that makes sense. "normal" everday joe's bascilly act like total jerks to us and i dont understadn why they just asume who we are for no reason.

this all annoys me to say and ye si have depression too, is there a way to have atleast one person understand what its like being autistic by chance?

also sorry about ranting and being agry i hav ealot of my mind that i need to share.

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[–] Deestan@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

This sucks. And just ignoring it sucks.

It is probably what someone else have said - that it's just hard to get along with people if they give and expect a lot of communication channels via body language, tone, facial expression, speech tempo, and choice of words, and you aren't.

There are many tricks to conversation like smile, keep tone light, avoid saying "you" (for some reason this is often aggressive don't ask me how), but the best way to learn which of these things are most efficient for you to learn is via assistance from people around you.

The hard but sometimes very effective way: If someone is being a jerk to you, go to them and say some version of "I am sorry. I believe I have been rude to you, but I didn't intend to and I don't understand what. If you can explain it to me, I will try to avoid it in the future." Or, failing that, ask their friends in the same manner "I have offended X, and I am sorry about that, but I don't know what or how to apologize, can you help".

And for the love of bob, don't get defensive when they do tell you. Accept and think about it. Often you will realize it was on you. Even if they are wrong, there was still a communication problem that you at least know the location of and may steer clear of.

Sometimes you will find that people lack the introspective skills to help, but when it does work it's golden.