this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
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NonCredibleDefense

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[–] alquicksilver@lemmy.world 49 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Follow up pro tip: only do this if you want war with Italy. Every time someone breaks a spaghetto, an Italian person dies.

[–] robolemmy@lemmy.world 27 points 5 months ago (3 children)

My favorite grocery store sells “pot-ready spaghetti noodles” which are half the length of normal ones. I think Italy’s declaration of war is a foregone conclusion at this point

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I mean, who decided that spaghetti noodles had to be that long anyway? What if I go to Italy and start selling spaghetti noodles that are 2m long? When will they admit that its fin to snappa the spaghetta?

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 5 months ago

Super long spaghetti noodles are dried in coils and are pretty fancy.

[–] wieson@feddit.de 1 points 5 months ago

It's harder to pick up broken or shorter spaghetti with a fork. If you break them up real small and make chicken noodle soup that you eat with a spoon - that's fine. Italians do that as well.

[–] skulkingaround@sh.itjust.works 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Protip, you can cook regular spaghetti noodles in a big pan. You only need enough water to cover the noodles and it's way faster than boiling a lake's worth of water in a pot and doing the whole "try to fold the pasta into the water as fast as possible so it cooks evenly" dance.

[–] psud@aussie.zone 6 points 5 months ago

You can leave them full length with only a third of the length in the water, they quickly soften and slump and the rest can be immersed

[–] nBodyProblem@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

Did you know they don’t eat garlic bread in Italy?

Ergo, “Italian Food” in America is better than food in Italy. They have to take us out as a matter of self defense

[–] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

What if after it's cooked you just cut it up with scissors?

1000009218

[–] crispy_kilt@feddit.de 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

deeply saddened italian noises

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago

My wife showed me the Instagram page of an American woman who was married to an Italian guy. She would fuck with him for content. The one where she breaks spaghetti in half before throwing it into the water is hilarious, he flips his shit

[–] rustyfish@lemmy.world 31 points 5 months ago (2 children)

If you ever find yourself in a war against Italy, breaking a bundle of spaghetti will send out a shockwave which causes any Italian in a 3 km radius to fall into cardiac arrest.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If that fails put pineapple on pizza

[–] crispy_kilt@feddit.de 9 points 5 months ago

Easy there Hitler

[–] EmoDuck@sh.itjust.works 9 points 5 months ago

It will only kill 99.9% of italians. The survivors, if there are any, will be alerted and rapidly approach your position. At this point, suicide will be the only way out

[–] redcalcium@lemmy.institute 18 points 5 months ago
[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 6 points 5 months ago

Maybe a little forgetti, as a treat

[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] Hegar@kbin.social 9 points 5 months ago

It's called Corditini

[–] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Salted with a little extra lead in case you're not retarded enough already

[–] Gork@lemm.ee 10 points 5 months ago

!Subscribe to Italian Defense Tips

[–] DMBFFF@kbin.social 7 points 5 months ago

also a good place to hide the weed. 😁

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

Nice try, gluten

[–] MxM111@kbin.social 5 points 5 months ago

About the same amount of calories as in gun powder. Should work just fine.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 5 months ago

This just makes me think the soldier isn't intending to shoot anyone anyway, say if he's more sympathetic to the local civilians than his political masters.

And if I recall correctly, American troopers often made more friends with chocolate and beanie babies than with bullets.