this post was submitted on 13 Mar 2024
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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 61 points 6 months ago (2 children)

2000 years of tithing and it still isn't enough?

Because I've been to the Vatican and I gotta say, it looks like they have plenty of money.

[–] pezhore@lemmy.ml 20 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Maybe they should try donating to other religions to make Jesus angry.

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 20 points 6 months ago

Molesting kids: I sleep

Donating to different religions: Real shit

-White Jesus

[–] superduperenigma@lemmy.world 14 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

This guy isn't affiliated with the Catholic Church. You see, the Catholics got it wrong so all the money donated to them doesn't count. Then the Protestants got it wrong so all the money donated to them doesn't count. Then the lutherans got it wrong so all the money donated to them doesn't count. Then the evangelicals got it wrong so all the money donated to them doesn't count. But then this guy definitely got it right, so don't worry; your money is absolutely definitely going to the right place when you donate to him and nobody else will come along saying he got it wrong.

[–] Darkard@lemmy.world 48 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Who knew that Jesus's return to Earth was a Kickstarter. Donate enough and you will be listed as a "Most Pious Backer" in the new edition of the bible.

I assume one of the stretch goals is to cure bone cancer in babies.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

He created the baby bone cancer. One of the stretch goals is expanding baby bone cancer.

[–] RandoCalrandian@kbin.social 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

So all efforts to cure cancer are in direct opposition to the will of god?

…thought I was making a joke, but now I’m worried

[–] JustRobForNow@mastodon.social 1 points 6 months ago

@RandoCalrandian @DeadNinja @Darkard @ivanafterall
Logically, praying for any outcome is against the will of God.
If God has a plan, prayer is basically asking him to change it because you have a better plan.

[–] RandoCalrandian@kbin.social 1 points 6 months ago

Shoot, pay me enough money and I’ll dress up and say “I’m back!”

[–] TK420@lemmy.world 30 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Soon enough the boomers and other old people will stop funding the churches since they will be dead and one by one the churches will all shut down.

The people will rejoice across the land.

[–] captainWhatsHisName@lemm.ee 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Sorry but boomers didn’t invent stupidity and it won’t end with them

[–] TK420@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I’m very aware, but it’s only accelerating as time goes forward.

It’s exciting times I tell ya

[–] Everythingispenguins@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Society is just a pendulum. Just because you see it moving in one direction doesn't mean your kids or grandkids won't just move it back.

[–] Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Cute but their families are also funding.

Also Mormons. Anyone in the religion is giving a percentage.

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

Largest land owner in Florida I believe was the LDS. Near 690,000 acres and because they are a church, no taxes. The standard suburban home in Florida used to sit on a 1/4 acre lot. The median property tax is $2,338 a year. That would mean the LDS would be paying ~6.4 billion dollars a year in taxes if that were owned by the common family. Just making them pay taxes would make them sell off a bunch to get some of the costs back. Imagine half of that going up for space to build houses at low prices because they all the sudden fed the area for 2.7 million houses into the market.

Oops, house prices may fall, and a bunch of money just got fed into the government to build infrastructure for it.

[–] spicytuna62@lemmy.world 26 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Who'd have known an all-knowing, all-powerful, totally unlimited god would be limited by insufficient funds?

[–] agent_flounder@lemmy.world 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Air fare is expensive, ok??

[–] captain_oni@lemmy.world 12 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Could god create an airline so expensive, not even him could afford it?

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 6 months ago

Yes, but no! But yes! No, yes, ... Shut up!

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

I feel like, this is why some crackhead came up with the 3 persons in 1 thingy.

“He’s fully god, just broke as fuck.”

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

God invented gold, right? Why does he need more?

[–] emergencyfood@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 months ago

He gave his gnosis to the Tsaritsa.

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 15 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

God money, I'll do anything for you
God money, just tell me what you want me to

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Another good one (although I think Roger Waters has lost* his mind in the last couple years)

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

[–] RatBin@lemmy.world 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The merchants are in the temple. The merchants are guiding the temple...

[–] RandoCalrandian@kbin.social 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The merchants have always run the temple

[–] Everythingispenguins@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Hey what is so bad about selling a few indulgences now and then.

[–] TragicNotCute@lemmy.world 15 points 6 months ago

This is classic prosperity gospel shit. Why are we giving these people attention still?

[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 13 points 6 months ago

Damn Jesus is a real whore

[–] HubertManne@kbin.social 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

The actual issue is they have been using the wrong address to send the checks (which should be made out to cash). Its:

G's for Jesus
PO Box 4432
Chicago, IL 60608

[–] dutchkimble@lemy.lol 1 points 6 months ago

That mexican bloke keeps wondering happily who keeps sending him money

[–] resetbypeer@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

Jesus will not return. Fuck he has been on welfare for 2024 years. Why would the man return from retirement if he can live life as the richest person ever existed in a paradise that they told us all about /s

[–] Nobody@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

Moneychangers in the temple. It's abhorrent on so many levels.

[–] YurkshireLad@lemmy.ca 6 points 6 months ago

And some people are stupid enough to believe him. 🤦‍♂️

[–] BeautifulMind@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

I AM GOD'S MESSENGER

...and what is God's message?

GIVE GOD'S MESSENGER MONEY!

[–] SoupBrick@yiffit.net 3 points 6 months ago

And people believe him.

[–] june@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Even many evangelicals think this guy is a heretic.

[–] Spendrill@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago