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I bought a scythe, but it's not very good at pushing the lawnmower.

Goofus resorts to slavery when he doesn't want to mow the lawn. Gallant, gets rid of the lawn.

palworld

I can't wait for the day when a cow will write my emails for me

I briefly considered getting a goat a few years ago when that was being suggested as an eco alternative to lawn mowing, mostly because I have enough lawn that it seemed cheaper to feed a goat or two. But then I learnt that goats will eat everything, not just your grass, you have to maintain a small herd to get even coverage, and they shit everywhere.

If I could train one to ride my mower, though, I might reconsider.

Why can't the cow just eat the lawn?