“‘The data is clear. And that data is telling us the heaviest animal to ever walk this earth still remains yo momma.”
this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2024
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Oh yeah? Well yo momma so fat she got smaller fat people orbiting around her.
(Wait, are we doing snaps?)
Yo momma so fat, when walmart wants to lower prices they have her sit on the roof.
Edit: Damnit somebody already beat me to the yo momma joke.
I'll still laugh if you tell it to me. Go ahead.
The reason the scientists were studying ancient whales in the first place is because the scientist couldn’t get your mom off his mind.
That's pretty good! That reminds me of the time the editor at the magazine where I used to work asked me the difference between a whale and my mom: about 200lbs and a black dress.
There’s another one in there about a being an ancient whale and you let that slip too.
It's pretty amazing that as huge and awesome as creatures in the past were, probably the biggest living thing ever is alive right now.
biggest living thing
Animal.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Largest_organisms
When considering singular entities, the largest organisms are clonal colonies which can spread over large areas. Pando, a clonal colony of the quaking aspen tree, is widely considered to be the largest such organism by mass.[1]