Assisting a vampire in plotting and then carrying out the murder of her father.

For yelling too loud.

Statement of an observing police officer:

They say ToxicWaste murdered that Salesman... with his voice! Shouted him apart!

definately animal abuse.
i put 25 cows into a 1m² pen.

Killing the queen (chess)

Murdering wildlife and blowing up planets.

Destroying a planet solely to exterminate an invasive species in order to thwart the plans of a space pirate organization who were planning on leveraging the powers of said invasive species for nefarious purposes.

At least I saved the animals.

Going a-víking and dismembering "a few" Englishmen...

Running a 75 ton Timberwolf Battlemech.

Pretty sure just turning the thing on would be enough to get me arrested. Civilians typically aren't allowed Surface To Surface missiles, and megawatt power lasers that are effective weapons at a range of over 1000m.

I'll have a 100 ton Madcat 2 soon.

Solving puzzles as a robot (Talos Principle 2). That's probably illegal in Alabama (using your brain and not having a human body).

Playing cards...? It was solitaire 😅

Murder of two mercenary teams using arrow carts, balistas and magic weapons while they siege my castle with catapults and trebuchets (World vs World mode of Guild Wars 2).

Killing mr house

Polluting and extracting every raw resource for my own benefit, mindlessly destroying the native alien population as they attempt to stop my destruction of their land.

brutal organ harvesting using exclusively medicinal plants, followed by cannibalism

Driving my rocket powered car into someone so they explode. What a save.

Been playing Dorfromantik so building quaint, idyllic villages with expansive forests and streams.

I beat up a gang of criminals as twinkified pinnoccio

Unlawful harvesting of jellyfish? Dave the Diver.

Spreading democracy

Trying to commit a hostile takeover by having my company's employees fistfight their company's employees in the town square.

Vehicular manslaughter, hit and run, and god only knows how many illegal car modifications

Blackmail. You can have your "shorts" back after I win first place at the town fair.

Trespassing - have to catch that pokemon for Pokemon Go.

Forging a committed relationship with Shadowheart.

Stacking blocks and clearing lines.

Last game I've played was egg, inc. It's a mobile idle "numbers go up" game.. There's nothing overtly criminal, so probably tax evasion or something on my trevigintillion bocks.

Throwing darts at balloons

Building without a permit

Blasting a bunch of bad guys in Rainbow 6: SMOL…

Aggressively realistic HEMA reenactments

Illegal construction (Minecraft)

Cheating at Poker

Killing hundreds of zombies, skeletons, creepers, and Illagers, not so I can save the villagers they wrongly imprisoned, but so I can get that one specific gilded sword.

Driving rally under controlled circumstances with closed roads and guards etc. But I'm completing my laps at such mediocre times I deserve jail time I suppose?

Stopping criminal acts by means of self-righteous extreme violence, and littering the streets of the city with the bodies of almost dead criminals

Time travel and monster slaying? Also, staging a coup against the immortal emperor.

A wee bit of terrorism