Not the Onion

PEDs could literally change peoples lives if doctors were allowed to prescribe and manage their use. Im on some shit that would turn up on a test if I were an olympic athlete, simply because I got tired of trying to keep my middle-aged ass in shape and continually catching minor injuries that fucked up my training. The fact is, some of these drugs/compounds are banned because they WORK.

The closest we have is worlds strongest man.