this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2024
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What’s your method for doing it? FYI, here’s a suggested method.

top 45 comments
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[–] JWBananas@startrek.website 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] key@lemmy.keychat.org 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I prefer to call it a "Platform for Lateral Accumulation of Trace Eatables"

[–] sanguinepar@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

Or a PFLAOTE for short!

[–] kersploosh@sh.itjust.works 21 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Dunk it in water, squeeze it into a tight ball, and take bites like it's an apple.

[–] LastYearsPumpkin@feddit.ch 11 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I'm not sure if I should upvote this or downvote this...

[–] robolemmy@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

You angrily upvote it for being technically correct and then sneer while downvoting for being a crime against both humanity and nature.

[–] kurcatovium@lemm.ee 1 points 9 months ago

Angry upvote?

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

You sir belong in hell

[–] solrize@lemmy.world 13 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Use a plate to catch any crumbs.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 1 points 9 months ago

You just blew my mind.

[–] sanguinepar@lemmy.world 0 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Or a plastic bag.

(NB, do not put a plastic bag over your head. Even for a croissant)

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Well, if you can loop one handle around your neck and keep the bag safely under your chin, you should be alright.

[–] smort@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It would make my day to see someone eating a croissant with a feed bag hanging from their neck

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 9 months ago

I’d like to see a Scotsman on a horse!

[–] Nemo@midwest.social 12 points 9 months ago

If you don't want flakes, don't eat a flaky pastry.

[–] hitmyspot@aussie.zone 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Eat them outside walking to work.

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Awesome idea! And maybe you leave a trail of crumbs for birds :)

[–] sanguinepar@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Or in case you need to find your way home again!

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 9 months ago

Just follow the birdshit

[–] raynethackery@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

Good way to make friends with crows / ravens. Then they adopt you and maybe defend you if you get in a fight.

[–] XEAL@lemm.ee 8 points 9 months ago

That's the neat part, you don't

[–] MapleEngineer@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

All in one bite.

[–] NewNewAccount@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

The article’s suggestion of “tear and spread” is what I was going to suggest.

[–] O_i@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It’s supposed to be flaky, stop complaining

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

Okay, anything else?

[–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 5 points 9 months ago

Soak them in Nutella

[–] O_i@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

Enjoy your pastry

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

Eat it in one bite

[–] xorollo@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

This article sounds like the result of assigning a middle school student to write an instructional essay with a required word length. The middle school student asked chat GPT for help.

[–] activ8r@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 months ago

I don't 👍

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

Why would you want to? The more crumbs that drop everywhere, the better it tastes! Just like eating hot wings is best when the sauce gets all over your entire face. If you can get some sauce on your forehead then that's a damned fine wing meal!

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 3 points 9 months ago

Toss the croissant up in the air, lean my head back, and eat it one big chomp

[–] allrian@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I flatten them on the plate with my hand and then put the jelly on top of it, similar to bread/sandwich.

Way easier to eat, but don't tell the French :)

[–] Suspiciousbrowsing@kbin.social 1 points 9 months ago

Sorry, you put jam on croissants? Surely ham and cheese is the only option

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 0 points 9 months ago

It’s all getting flattened by your intestines anyways :D

[–] _haha_oh_wow_@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago

I avoid moving around while eating it, eat it over a plate/napkin, and then brush the flakes off into the trash. Eating them when they're warm/moist also helps.

[–] skatrek47@sh.itjust.works 1 points 9 months ago

I put it in a brown paper lunch baggie and eat it from the top so the bag catches the crumbs… for the most part!

[–] kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You have to create a vacuuming of air with every bite. Just do strong, deep inhales while biting, ripping, and tearing, prior to the chewing. The crumbs will all be sucked inward towards your mouth and lungs, and you won't have any problems

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 9 months ago

Except for any issues inhaling the crumbs might cause

[–] mhague@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

I always eat messy things by leaning over my plate, or carefully taking bites above a bag or whatever. I like being fastidious.

[–] CaptainBasculin@lemmy.ml 1 points 9 months ago

Eat it all in one bite.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 1 points 9 months ago

I bite into the widest part of the middle first, then I peel the layers apart individually and eat them with a fork and knife.

[–] DerisionConsulting@lemmy.ca 0 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Just pick it up and eat it like a donut, basically no crumbs.
You don't need to add any toppings to them

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 0 points 9 months ago

Hmm no, I don’t recommend! That’s a one way ticket to crumbtopia! I don’t want to downvote you, but I am so so compelled to. I’ll resist, for now..

[–] ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com -1 points 9 months ago