this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
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Aliens want to communicate and they decide to use you and your personality as the base model for all humans. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 38 points 8 months ago (2 children)

UN: "Boy, they really like using Star Trek memes to convey their thoughts...."

[–] nxdefiant@startrek.website 10 points 8 months ago

All the Me clones: Sokath, his eyes opened.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Turns out Star Trek was just a retelling of actual intergalactic life

Aliens: Who the hell told them all this stuff ... I don't look like that? ... My ass isn't that fat ... Is it?

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[–] harry_balzac@lemmy.world 27 points 8 months ago (6 children)

Well as someone with ADHD, depression, and anxiety, as well as being on the spectrum, initially we'd be kinda screwed. I have spent a lot of time in therapy and have done a lot to manage it all, as well as developing empathy for myself and others, so not so bad.

However, I choose to be a non-theistic Satanist and an anarchist, so a lot of other people are going to be fucked. Especially those that deserve no empathy due to their hoarding of resources and exploitation of people and the planet.

[–] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 8 points 8 months ago (6 children)

Could you elaborate on the Satanist part? It's the first time I encounter that specific term.

[–] takeda@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

I met a member. And he explained to me that they are pretty much atheists but from the point of the law they enjoy religious protections.

Basically if you call yourself atheist, you won't get any religious protections, because you don't have any religion. Everyone knows that FSM is a joke, so that wouldn't fly either. So they created a religion. They chose Satan, to get expected reaction from devoted Christians, they don't believe in Satan though (unlike wackos from the Church of Satan). You can read their 7 tenets, which sound quite reasonable: https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/the-satanic-temple-tenets/there-are-seven-fundamental-tenets

[–] MightyGalhupo@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago (2 children)

This is actually really reasonable. What are the “religious protections” you speak of?

[–] PsychedSy@sh.itjust.works 3 points 8 months ago (4 children)

They put cool shit up in state capitols (see: snaketivity), have "after school satan" clubs, abortion rituals. All sorts of shit to use the cover of religion to assert freedoms.

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[–] takeda@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Things that you normally don't think about. For example if you tried to get a job and the owner refused to hire you, because you don't believe in his religion, you can sue that they are discriminating. If you are atheist, that won't work, because you don't have a religion.

If a certain group claims to be offended by something, because it affects their religion, atheists have no say, because they have no religion.

There's no tax exemptions, money that might be directed to religious institutions won't go to atheist organizations, because again that's not a religion and so on.

As for the other commenter's, about putting Capitol displays and after school programs is meant to emphasize separation of church and state and religion in schools. The "abortion rituals" are for fighting recent SCOTUS ruling, that it apparently infringes their religious freedoms and prevents practicing their religion (kind of contra to Christians imposing their beliefs on others). Though, with current SCOTUS and states that are banning abortion, I don't know if it does much.

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[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 5 points 8 months ago

Seems i am going to be just fine after all.

Seriously though how did you write something so personal and yet described my life so well.

Like the only difference is that you are a non theist satanist anarchist. While i am an agnostic spiritual anarchist having Jesus (but not god) as an example of a good.

[–] Funkytom467@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'll gladly take aliens trying to cure me of an ADHD and depression i don't have if they can also cure us of religions and capitalism.

More importantly you going to therapy and improving yourself the way you described it, that in itself is sincerely the best exemple we can show an alien, ever.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Intergalactic Therapy Industrial Complex rubbing their hands

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[–] DharmaCurious@startrek.website 21 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Well, there'll be a lot less billionaires pretty quickly, from there it's gonna be a lot of references to star trek, doctor who, dead philosophers and general southernisms.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

lol .... aliens arrive in 1960s era London police boxes to try to not alarm us as they make first contact

Aliens first message: ... I say my good man, it's quite a coincidence to find you in this part of the galaxy. I feel pecked by a hundred chickens, fuller than a tick on a big dog and fine as frog hair and not half as slick to greet you on this fair morning under god's blue sky.

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[–] Makeshift@sh.itjust.works 19 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Humanity is screwed.

They like being alone, don’t like loud noises, will find a reason to leave a situation with more than 3 people in a small area. They don’t have any sexual desire and will be most happy to go through life without ever having intercourse. Probably going to go extinct without outside intervention thanks to that, better intervene to preserve the species.

They want to hibernate when it’s cold outside. Cold = anything below 70f.

They’re herbivores though so at least they don’t destroy their planet by mass farming the cruelest and most inefficient food source possible. Silver lining?

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 5 points 8 months ago

Excellent source of creating a slave race? ... to build that interplanetary space gun to destroy XMH3003 and those stupid Morkahons

[–] notannpc@lemmy.world 17 points 8 months ago

At one point in my job I was effectively the translator between English speaking Indian software devs, and American project managers. If I can translate technical information into something understandable to a PM, and vague program specs into actionable technical requirements for the devs I think we’d actually be alright with the aliens.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 17 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I'm autistic. So they'd be very confused with most people I think

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I, for one, would welcome our nuwu owoverlords.

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[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

There's a lot of autistic people in this thread

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 10 points 8 months ago

There's a lot of autistic people on lemmy I think

[–] theneverfox@pawb.social 17 points 8 months ago

I think it'd go great.

I feel like they'd be horrified, and conquer our planet and force us all into therapy, but think they'd see us as worth helping

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 16 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

They're just gonna be commenting on Lemmy all day. Threat averted.

[–] DosDude@retrolemmy.com 4 points 8 months ago (3 children)
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[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'm literally autistic and I can barely even talk to people anymore, so I imagine it'll be a gigantic disaster.

[–] unreasonabro@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

right but they're psychic so you can actually communicate at a real rate instead of tripping over your meat trumpet like a fucking animal all the time

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Oh okay, so all they're going to hear about humanity is all the weird math shit I've been watching YouTube lectures on lately 😆.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

what book is it where they communicate with aliens starting with first principals of mathematics? we might be ok.

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 8 months ago

But merely being able to communicate with people has never been sufficient to make peace with them, at least from my experience. Otherwise I'd be much more popular with people, because I never had trouble reading, listening to, and writing to people, but I'm not good at talking to people. I typically need a lot more prior information (i.e. cultural norms, dictionary of body language, recent local history, a catalog of an individual's interests and their definitions, etc.) to talk to people effectively, which I often don't have or acquire by fucking up enough times to figure it out by hand 🙃.

[–] Korne127@lemmy.world 13 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Human population is very empathetic, but very kinky.

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[–] bonezey@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Can't leave the flying saucer without having triple checked it's locked.

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[–] outer_spec@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 8 months ago

“Hmm, it looks like these humans really like ‘tentacle hentai’… we could use this to our advantage”

[–] Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

Intergalactic diplomacy will play out in World of Warcraft.

[–] MyFairJulia@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

Humanity shall receive the gift of estrogen!

[–] Bizarroland@kbin.social 6 points 8 months ago

Not bad. Couple of you fucks would be ackacked into non-existence but 99.997% of you would be alright.

[–] BigMoe@lemmy.zip 6 points 8 months ago

“Why do these aliens keep making stupid, unfunny jokes”?

[–] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Well... it could be worse... you should all thank them they didn't pick my sister.

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

I'll try my best.

[–] Elephant0991@lemmy.bleh.au 5 points 8 months ago

Screwed!

But this is not a very good/logical/reasonable alien to be in contact with. There are so many ...ists with can call this alien. Generalization with sample of one? Pfff... They won't even get here...

[–] matmarspace@programming.dev 5 points 8 months ago

I guess we're good. :)

[–] BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Let’s just say the overpopulation issue will be thoroughly resolved

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Hey, the aliens want to communicate through a sarcastic misanthrope... well, I can't say I'd blame them.

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[–] harmsy@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

In one sense? Very, very much. I hope y'all like tentacles. In another sense, the complete opposite of screwed. I hope y'all like free healthcare.

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[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

I'd say just barely north of average, but quickly declining.

[–] FMEEE@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 8 months ago

I think u re asking on the wrong platform.

[–] thezeesystem@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

As someone with d.i.d. it all comes down to which personality they take.

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