Mildly Infuriating

Just use a lot of it I guess. It's just gonna cost them more in the long run.

I love these false economies that some corporate bean counter thinks saves the company money

Because you see, whenever I see this trash in a cubicle, I lovingly build my own 8-ply, using more paper and burning company time

Think like an engineer. That isn't 1 ply, it is materials needed to make 20 ply.

When I encounter single ply, I intentionally use three times as much. I'm vindictive.

Oh look, it's "using 3x as much toilet paper than normal because management wanted to save money so they got worthless toilet paper that only costs half as much as regular".

I call them DIY 5-ply TPs

My dad always told me that when a company switches to single ply toilet paper, it's time to gtfo bc the writing is on the wall. Company's going under.

"We need everyone back to the office. There is no reason for you to work from home"...

just pull out more and fold lmao; they can't control how much you use

If bidets became commonplace, it would reduce the need for toilet paper greatly! Ask me, I know! Got one for $40.00 from Amazon, attached in minutes. Best thing since sliced bread

Homeopathic toilet paper

Write an email to HR, leaving a paper trail in case they retaliate...

If they don't solve this issue, I would just go home to take a dump and come back without clocking out... If they complain, I would tell them they need reasonable toilet paper.

You might get fired for it, so I would start applying for other jobs before attempting this.

Hopefully they realize it won't save them anything when people use an entire roll every time they shit.

This should be against the ADA. Many Americans have Crohn's, ulcerative colitis, IBS, and other issues which make them need to use the restroom frequently. Using toilet paper of that quality quickly becomes painful and causes inflammation.

Bidet and/or toilet seat with butt washer.

I mean when you step in shit, you don't just tissue your foot or shoe, you wash it down at the earliest opportunity. Why should it be different for butts?

The enshittification continues. Literally in this case.

I used to work in a warehouse that had toilet paper like this.

Funny thing was, it was a warehouse full of toilet paper. So there was typically a roll of something better in the bathroom, sitting on top of the dispenser.

The legendary ½ ply!

It's this kind of shit that will ultimately motivate me to unionize.

Don't you wanna get in touch with your inner self?

That just means people will use more of it.

You have to layer the individual plys yourself. It's a build your own toilet paper kit.

Capitalism and its consequences have been a disaster for the human anus

Not for the anuses in charge, though.

My friends, I would like to share a story with you.

August 2023. Afternoon. I am sitting at my desk in my office. The tell tale signs of something brewing begin to make themselves known. After a time, I reluctantly acknowledge that I won't make it another 3 hours until I get home. I trudge downstairs to the less populated floor, as one does. An empty stall appears. I seat myself on the porcelain throne and an epic battle ensues. 15 minutes later the moment of dead arrives. I reach over to the dispenser and proceed to unroll.

Halfway through the standard multi-stage folding process, necessary to create something suitable for use, I pause. Something is different. This can't be right...this is...no, that's impossible. I look closer at the material in my hands. I rub it between thumb and index finger. I stare in disbelief. This is soft, comfortable, 2 ply material! Gods be praised! I proceed to give myself a royal treatment; the cleanest, most wonderful experience! I feel like a king as I wash my hands and return to my desk.

I dare not speak of this to anyone, for fear the mistake will be discovered. Over the next few weeks, I make several returns trips to the same location and am treated to the same royal cleaning. Life is good!

October. I have grown complacent in my comfort over the intervening weeks. One fateful day I make the trip downstairs, now fully expecting to do business in comfort. Post excursion I reach over, my fingers make contact with something akin to sandpaper. My hand freezes and my heart drops. The most wonderful 2 ply material is gone, replaced with the old standard rough, semi transparent tissue that always results in rectal bleeding. I curl over into a sitting fetal position and morn the loss of my comfy companion. Perhaps I shed a single tear, or cry or in pain, the memory is too traumatic to recall clearly now.

Six weeks later. Was it all a dream? Did I imagine the 2 ply material from heaven? I don't think so, but it has not returned. Maybe, against all hope, it will return in the future. Only time will tell.

TL;DR - my office had 2 ply toilet paper for a few weeks and it was the most amazing thing ever.

I would start bringing my own toilet paper.

Or would check out the toilets on the floor where the management offices are.

Obviously unpopular opinion, but I prefer one ply. The fluffy stuff always leaves lint which I think is pretty gross. I also find it more adjustable, like maybe I only need one square to wipe up a little toothpaste but I can also use three feet to wipe my ass.

I will die on this hill