this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] Rootiest@lemm.ee 71 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Relatable.

Except it's missing:

5b. Try 100 different things, none of which fix it and several of which will create other problems later

[–] datelmd5sum@lemmy.world 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

"Why is this buggy piece of shit trying to force TLS without it being enabled in the config!?"

"Oh because I hardcoded it in 3 months ago."

[–] Karyoplasma@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 11 months ago

I blame libraries I use for being buggy garbage just to later find out that the problem was caused by me overriding the libraries. Whoops.

[–] erogenouswarzone@lemmy.ml 2 points 11 months ago

Also the part where someone else wrote the code 20 years ago, and they haven't worked for the co for 19 years. And now you have to find a bug that makes no sense, with no idea how he even compiled the code. You work on it for 3 months and every day someone's riding your ass about it till they finally say well, let's put it in the backburner.

[–] ZpAz@lemm.ee 39 points 11 months ago (2 children)

If your issue is a typo, you probably are not at point 8 yet.

[–] Nahdahar@lemmy.world 14 points 11 months ago

I really hate all these programming memes that revolve around typos. Makes me feel like they aren't made by/for programmers.

[–] shasta@lemm.ee 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

You guys always turn that fancy auto complete stuff on?

[–] fubo@lemmy.world 23 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

1a. I must have misunderstood the problem report.
1b. No wait, holy shit, how did this ever work!?

2a. The director reminded us, at the last all-hands, that we should escalate to senior members of the team if we don't know how to check our work.
2b. ... yeah, they're at Burning Man.

3a. Remember, they knew I didn't have a CS degree when they hired me. Dammit Jim, I'm a chemist, not a compiler engineer.

4a. It could be worse. I could be back in academia.

5a. There are more cute people in academia.

6a. HOW THE FUCK DID THE THREE-HOUR COMMIT QUEUE NOT CATCH THIS BUG BEFORE IT WAS PUSHED ON FRIDAY AFTERNOON?
6b. (looks up author of broken commit) Oh, we need to send more whiskey to that team on Friday mornings. That'd shut them up.

7a. ... yeah no, imma run the regression tests another time against an unchanged repo
7b. ... resync and run them again
7c. ... fuck, this is fucking voodoo but imma do it anyway WHY DID IT BREAK NOW

8a. Wow, fixing that took, um, four actual bytes of delta?
8b. Everyone should slow the fuck down and see if they can fix all their bugs in four actual fucking characters of change to the actual fucking source code.
8c. What the fuck do I know. Megan committed 924 LOC last week that fixed lfile caching, and caught the btqmixer bug.

9a. Sleeeeeeeep.

[–] Nobody@lemmy.world 19 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Anxiety is the true plague of the 21st century. Imposter syndrome has hit every intelligent human being who ever lived.

Every generation fucked up at their jobs; the ones who found solutions became upwardly mobile heroes. Now they just get exploited more for less.

[–] masterspace@lemmy.ca 15 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Anxiety isn't a plague of the 21st century, it's a fundamental aspect of the human condition.

We did not evolve on top of the food chain living in relative paradise, we evolved as prey animals who could be eaten by a bear at any moment (or another group, or just slip and break our legs and die).

Anxiety, even when everything seems ok, is the evolutionary response that has kept us alive. In previous centuries we still just had tons of stuff to blame our anxiety on, the main difference with now is just that so many people are living lives of such little hardship and yet are still anxious, that it's making everyone go 'now hol up a second, I think this might not be entirely rational', and it's not and never was. Anxiety is a natural emotional response / state that causes our logical brain to cast about looking for things to ascribe it to.

[–] el_abuelo@lemmy.ml 4 points 11 months ago

There are those who have anxiety disorders whereby they have non-trivial amounts of anxiety that impairs their ability to live a "normal" life. Like going outdoors or getting on a bus or whatever. But for many of us you're right...it's just part of being an animal; a trip to the gym or a walk outside usually irons out the kinks.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.ml 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm not sure that Einstein ever felt like an imposter in his career.

[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Who are you to think this ?

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.ml 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I am Arthur, King of the Brits!

[–] locuester@lemmy.zip 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Anticorp@lemmy.ml 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] locuester@lemmy.zip 1 points 11 months ago

Who are the Britons?

[–] vraylle@kbin.social 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I appreciate that the list starts at zero.

[–] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Lmao I didn't even question it until I read this.

[–] flakpanzer@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Sometimes #6 happens right after I press enter asking my teammate for help on the issue. The universe humbles me like that every other day...

[–] not_woody_shaw@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago (2 children)

This is why rubber duck debugging is a thing.

[–] Motzart@lemm.ee 8 points 11 months ago

Hey TIL rubberducking. But I have always done it by talking to myself, aloud, with lots of Fs. The idiot is me.

[–] beSyl@slrpnk.net 0 points 11 months ago

I need to buy a rubber duck. Maybe a penguin instead. Something more climate appropriate, cotton penguin.

[–] pewnit@lemmings.world 6 points 11 months ago

Starting at step 0 is an important part of the programming process

[–] girltwink@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Am i the only developer who actually knows how to use an editor and solves problems that are more complicated than a typo? Was this meme written by someone who just graduated from a scam coding bootcamp?

[–] mypasswordis1234@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] ram@bookwormstory.social 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] mypasswordis1234@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

My displayname refers to my username 🙃

[–] ohlaph@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

What if it wasn't is though?

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago

I am a piece of crap, but I'm the greatest crap in the universe!

[–] SilentFury@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago

Its so over... WE'RE SO BACK!!

[–] alex_02@infosec.pub 3 points 11 months ago

I feel seen especially at 3 am.

[–] keefshape@lemmy.ca 3 points 11 months ago

Yeah, this is me. Currently can do anything! 💪

[–] Unlocalhost@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Also applies to Directors

[–] ohlaph@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

I'm pretty behind on a project, so that imposter syndrome is real for me right now.

[–] Fades@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Wow look it’s this same dead meme but reworded, jfc

https://lemmy.ca/post/7105889

[–] wit@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Seems different enough to me.

[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

The new one hits my comedy nerves just the right way. Idk, the other one is too much drama and talking to self stuff ...

Also, i like bullet points, all kinds of lists actually

[–] Polar@lemmy.ca -2 points 11 months ago

Lemmy is no different than Reddit. Just constant reposts.

It feels worse on Lemmy because the amount of content is so low. Really sucks.

[–] datwillpowerdo@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago

I stop at step 7.