[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

My boss mentioned that she thinks it’s from those reality TV shows like the Kardashian ones where all calls are on speaker since it’s part of the “entertainment.”

It’s why people are holding the phone up to their face like a sandwich and speaking into the bottom. It mimics the TV shows.

They just don't care. Simple as. People with brand-new phones do the same thing. There's just no regard for other people.

As someone with really bad anxiety, these people are aliens to me. Whenever I start to think I understand people, behavior like this is so incredibly foreign that I can can't comprehend relating to

I know how judgemental this sounds, but it's because the bottom speaker is louder, and because they don't care about other people.

Since the phone was invented, they designed it with a speaker that goes against your ear for easily heard, yet private conversations.

I'm this person. I have a few rules - I never have a phone conversation on public transport (bus, train, etc) and if it's a long conversation or overly personal I'll tell them I'll call them back when I'm in a private room.

But I'll answer quick calls like "can you grab bread on your way home?" or "I'm on my way, but I'm running late" on speaker in public.

I have reverse slope hearing loss, and I'm a very forgetful person who always leaves their seventeen pairs of headphones somewhere that isn't on my person.

I can't hear phone conversations properly without putting the phone directly in front of me so both ears are listening.

It's gotten better with VoIP because the method of compression is different to the old copper lines - I can't hear shit over analogue, as a teenager I used to use relay services because I couldn't hear male voices over phone. But some people's phone service is still really badly compressed, I'm on a tight budget so unfortunately I can't afford a quality service, or a flagship smartphone that let's me pitch adjust incoming calls.

I can't afford hearing aids for RSHL (they're not standard) so in the meantime I answer the phone on speaker and hold it in front of my face. (unless I have my headphones and can plug both in)

I try not to shout at my phone, but half the time it's my deaf mother calling me and we just end up shouting at each other over the phone, or it's one of the students calling me, I teach conversational English for migrants and IT for seniors, so there's a huge language or hearing barrier and my stupid little monkey brain thinks speaking louder will help even though I know it won't.

Just start participating in their conversations. That shuts them up really quickly.

My mother does this. She says it's because she can't hear it when she puts it up to her ear. I think she's just not positioning the phone correctly to her ear. I've bought her headphones and headsets, but she's a retired old lady that's technologically challenged so she's pretty much never going to stop it.

If you have a friend or family member that does this, call them when you are in a busy place and start talking mad crazy shit. Quickly learn, and its a bit of fun.... if they can take the joke that is.

In the airport restroom this morning, some jackass having a speaker conversation while he was taking a dump. Classy.

People love to air out their laundry

A lot of people send voice messages now, so you'd normally record/play them that way.

For me, it's so I can read information from my screen while I am on the phone. I can pull up my calendar and schedule appointments or look up an email and share the information with my conversation. I also just hold my phone to my face when I don't need to look at the screen.

Curious what country are from from and where you are you visiting? This has been an annoying phenomenon for 10-15 years but it seems like it used to be moreso an elderly person thing. Maybe it’s the fact that gen x and millennials (who have had smartphones most of their adult lives) are now getting older and losing their hearing?

Personally I think it’s mostly a courtesy issue. People lack consideration. If you get a call walk somewhere else. Bring headphones with you. Or just keep the conversation short and call back when you are in private. I always see people get calls and expect them to say “hey Paula I’m at a soccer game so let me call you back” but often times they just fucking chat away… Like we’re watching our kids play soccer, this is not your living room, and I don’t wanna hear your goddamn conversation in the background. Watch the game. Or on the subway I personally would just want to keep a conversation short so everyone is not listening to my conversation. I don’t want them listening and judging for my sake (semi-introvert) and I don’t want to annoy them for their sake. Lots of people just lack self awareness like there are other people around who don’t want to be involved. I don’t want to hear your conversation because then it’s in my head and I don’t want your dumb shit taking up valuable brain space.

Example, at a recent soccer practice a dad conversation talking about work shit included confirming “Greggy is handling the refi.” Just a fucking ridiculous statement. An adult called Greggy and the fact that Greggy is handling the refi. I would never let someone called Greggy manage finances. You’re fucking Greg or you are limited to financial transactions up to and including milk money and nothing more. I don’t want this in my head. Fuck that guy.

I hope it gets better, I’m not a fan of hating on Gen Z who is mostly under 18 at this point…so I’m having faith they will be considerate adults and common courtesy, self awareness, caring about other people, mental health support all that shit will be intrenched in their values. TikTok influencers aside…that is not all kids.

I've had phone calls that were so quiet I could barely hear them, even when I turned the volume up all the way. I don't know if it would've been any better in speaker mode, though.