this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 164 points 1 year ago (5 children)

"Girl, I named no variables after you, because you're my only Constant"

smooth πŸ‘

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[–] geekworking@lemmy.world 108 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You can also combine your names into a Linux distribution.

Deb + Ian = Debian.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I bet they've broken up since

[–] MrothersInArms@lemmy.zip 69 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The word "Debian" was formed as a portmanteau of the first name of his then-girlfriend (later ex-wife) Debra Lynn and his own first name

Wiki

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Later ex-wife" is like three tenses of information at once.

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[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Debra must be so pissed by now

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[–] cantstopthesignal@sh.itjust.works 103 points 1 year ago (3 children)
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[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 99 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Once when I was still a kid, I told a woman I loved her so much that I could only love her more if she was a robot.

She did not think that was romantic.

[–] UnRelatedBurner@sh.itjust.works 35 points 1 year ago (2 children)

there are so many things wrong with this

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[–] naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 93 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was thinking about you when I cleaned up this codebase and removed a lot of redundant functions.

[–] float@feddit.de 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)

That sounds more like breaking up.

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[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 67 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I send my wife code she has nfi idea about but knows I'm proud so she pretends to be impressed.

I win her heart over by making life much easier through technology and handling all that shit. When she can grab a PS4 controller, hit start, and sit on the couch, she knows not all ladies get their TV and sound system on, all inputs adjusted, game mode set, and Nintendo Switch home screen come up ready to launch Zelda.

"Babe, I could IFTTT the lights to drop to a gaming atmosphere and have your phone go into DND mode if you want. Just let me know."

SPLOOOOOOSH

[–] IzzyJ@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] Jtskywalker@lemm.ee 61 points 1 year ago (8 children)

I made a website for my wife with a list of a ton of reasons why I love her and each time she taps the screen it shows a new one.

So... that is a thing you can do for the cost of a domain name and some cheap hosting.

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[–] efrique@lemm.ee 59 points 1 year ago (1 children)

git branch testing.stephanie.slept.with.my.friend.brad

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] stephfinitely@artemis.camp 53 points 1 year ago (11 children)

This person misunderstands a beautiful function code can be very sexy or maybe I'm a odd girl.

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[–] halvar@lemm.ee 51 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Name a linux distro after her and yourself. Always works.

[–] heliosef@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Found the Hannah Montana user

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[–] cyberic@discuss.tchncs.de 50 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

Image Transcription: Twitter Post

bass boosted ACAB @lil_morgy

hooking up with artists is hot cuz theyll be like "i thought of you when i wrote this song". what are tech guys gonna do? name a git branch after you? the fuck

[* I am a human volunteer and you could be too ❀️*]

[–] TheGreenGolem@lemm.ee 16 points 1 year ago

Good human!

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[–] moog@lemm.ee 41 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Sure, but at least they won't be afraid of commitment.

[–] zeekaran@sopuli.xyz 36 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I wrote an automation specifically for my partner to unlock the front door when they arrive home.

Also we got a sexy time button.

Home Assistant is a path to what many would consider... Unnatural.

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[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I mean Steve Jobs named the Lisa after the daughter he disowned. There’s opportunities here.

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[–] mercano@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It can swing both ways. Half of Taylor Swift’s songs don’t paint her ex’s in a good light.

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[–] neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

β€œThe two hardest problems in programming are cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors.”

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[–] Gnubyte@lemdit.com 31 points 1 year ago (4 children)

No. They'll just name an entire lineup of the worlds biggest computers after your daughter.

[–] Getawombatupya@aussie.zone 25 points 1 year ago

Little baby Thinkpad really deserves it.

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[–] Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)

MySQL, MariaDB, and MaxScale are all named after Ulf "Monty" Widenius' kids

[–] zomtecos@feddit.de 19 points 1 year ago (5 children)

His first kid was called β€žMyβ€œ?

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[–] Nsh@lemmy.ca 30 points 1 year ago (4 children)

The creator of MySQL, MaxDB and MariaDB named them after his children My, Max and Maria, so why not

[–] dan@upvote.au 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

after his children My

I thought you were kidding, but his daughter is actually named "My".

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[–] IntentionallyAnon@lemm.ee 28 points 1 year ago

Naming variables after loved ones. Stephanie += 1 Stephanie/bob = Jeff

If Jeff == Stephanie: Jerome(Stevens)

[–] noodle@feddit.uk 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

When I was learning programming I wrote a small program that I called for_you.exe. It printed an animated ASCII penis ejaculating on some boobs. I emailed it to my girlfriend and thankfully she thought it was hilarious. We're still together.

[–] bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can tell your age by the fact that you were emailing an exe file.

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[–] crunchpaste@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Well, I made my girlfriend a GUI app that converts subtitles from Windows-1251 to utf-8 encoding so that she doesn't have to remember how to do it. And I didn't even name it after her...

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[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (7 children)

I’d feel very wooed if my wife named a Linux distro or some open source project of hers after me

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[–] db2@sopuli.xyz 24 points 1 year ago (5 children)
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[–] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Keeping programming as far away from my relationships as possible.

Instead, I distract them with the fact that I'm a pretty damned good cook and know where the best hole in the wall restaurants are.

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[–] Eiim@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] bluebadoo@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (7 children)

My partner programmed me a birthday card, so the programming flirt is real.

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