this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2023
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Autism

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[–] LanternEverywhere@kbin.social 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If someone was born without a leg you wouldn't think "gee they must be dumb to not have figured out how to regrow their leg." Autism is how you are from birth, it's part of who you are, you can't smart your way out of having autism any more than the other person can smart their way to regrowing their leg.

[–] Default@aussie.zone 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

True. Social skills can clearly be practised and improved though

[–] maniclucky@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

So can ballet, but there's an upper limit for people. I could dump a lot of effort with seriously diminishing returns into social niceties, or I can accept this weakness and work around it as necessary. I choose the latter as the former is exhausting and unrewarding.

[–] eodur@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Embrace it. Think of awkwardness as your charm and eventually others will too.

[–] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's not awkward if you pretend to know what you're doing

[–] Clent@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

One day, you'll run out of fucks to give and stop pretending.

Embrace the inevitable.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But that day won't come until you're 56

[–] Clent@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

The more awkward, the faster you run out.

Normies can go their entire lives with giving a single fuck.

This is not the same has running out.

You can't take them with you.

[–] quadropiss@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

My cptsd would argue

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 16 points 1 year ago

Be awkward if that's how you do things. Embrace it if that's who you are. Don't be afraid to be you.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 10 points 1 year ago

Don't be so hard on yourself. It's also not difficult to watch/recognize a fiery car crash, but that doesn't mean you could stop it.

[–] pinkdrunkenelephants@sopuli.xyz 10 points 1 year ago

Awkwardness has jack shit to do with intelligence. It's just feeling guilty for behaving differently than others.

[–] ParadoxPandox@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I may feel this on a deep level, but being awkward doesn't say anything about your intelligence. Just be you. Fuck the haters.

[–] Llewellyn@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

Who talk about haters? Those, who perceive you as awkward hardly are "haters".

[–] Raelle@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My way of dealing with this is probably very unhealthy:

  • Suppress myself
  • Avoid situations

I do this, plus I'm fairly good at observing/scripting and then just play back the script for a lot of situations.

New stuff throws me for a loop sometimes, like anything to do with me. Like I'm not actually telling you how I feel about something, or what I know about something, because after my tangent you'll just stare at me. I'll look to someone else to save me or "all hands abandon" and "abort abort" myself right out of there.

[–] toototabon@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago

This is basically the P=NP problem! 🤔💀

Yeah, you can easily assess whether things are going ok at any moment, but it's hard as fuck to know how to make things ok from scratch.

[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That feeling when you're dumb enough to think you've passed the peak of mount stupid on the Dunning Krueger graph, but not dumb enough to give off Labrador vibes.