this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023

1422 points (96.8% liked)

Memes

45528 readers

1071 users here now

Rules:

Be civil and nice.
Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

gary_host_laptop@lemmy.ml

sexy_peach@feddit.de

cyclohexane@lemmy.ml

cypherpunks@lemmy.ml

1422

Today we learnt... (feddit.de)

submitted 1 year ago by peterpan520@feddit.de to c/memes@lemmy.ml

131 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] yukichigai@kbin.social 188 points 1 year ago

What a horrible day to have genitals.

[–] Dick_Justice@lemmy.world 126 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Why did I learn how to read?

[–] VanillaGorilla@kbin.social 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Society forced you. Time to burn it all down.

[–] ElBarto@lzrprt.sbs 12 points 1 year ago

I knew I was right to blame society for everything!

load more comments (6 replies)

[–] moonsnotreal@lemmy.blahaj.zone 91 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Ok I guess we both have it bad

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’ve had both happen, yeah both suck

[–] SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org 20 points 1 year ago (7 children)

How?

[–] TaleOfSam@kbin.social 41 points 1 year ago

Life's wild, my friend

[–] Walk_blesseD@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 1 year ago

Some of us go from having one set of bits to having a different set of bits.

load more comments (5 replies)

[–] GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

A fart is nowhere near as bad as the inside of a dirty toilet 😅

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] wil@lemmy.blahaj.zone 75 points 1 year ago (2 children)

As a pussy haver. What the fuck

[–] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago

Today we encounter the "pussy havers" and the "pussy have nots" learning side by side! Spectacular!

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] WhyIDie@lemmy.ml 65 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I'm now equal parts envious, fearful, and in awe at women's capability to weaponize much more destructive dutch ovens than men.

[–] bingbong@lemmy.dbzer0.com 68 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The dreaded double dutch

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] grayman@lemmy.world 62 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was helping my daughter (3) pee. Pee came out of 3 places at once at one point, then 2.

I'll keep my ding dong, thanks.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 47 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Relax guys. We all know girls don't fart.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] Nfntordr@lemmy.world 46 points 1 year ago (4 children)

If only my dick was big enough to touch the inside of the bowl

[–] spader312@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You don't want it to be, the cold touch of a toilet bowl specially a dirty public restroom gives me chills

load more comments (1 replies)

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] koyo@ani.social 43 points 1 year ago

im with everyone here. what the fuck

[–] Scrof@sopuli.xyz 42 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

At least we can all relate to water splashes.

[–] Mongostein@lemmy.ca 36 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Oh man I had diarrhea in a porta-potty a couple weeks ago and got some splash back. I was not a happy camper.

[–] papajohn@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 year ago

I call bullshit. No one survives the blue touch.

load more comments (5 replies)

[–] xpinchx@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Poseidon's Kiss™️

load more comments (2 replies)

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] Dream_state@aussie.zone 36 points 1 year ago (6 children)

The old witches kiss

load more comments (6 replies)

[–] kevinbacon@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago

W-what?

[–] OtakuAltair@lemm.ee 32 points 1 year ago

What the fuck

[–] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I'm a guy and I've had those farts that escape up between your leg and balls and pop out the top

load more comments (6 replies)

[–] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago (6 children)

When I shit my dick touch the water

[–] victron@programming.dev 39 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

You're not supposed to shit in the urinals, my dude.

[–] phorq@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Then why are they butt-level???

load more comments (1 replies)

load more comments (5 replies)

[–] Fhek@lemm.ee 20 points 1 year ago

The requeefining.

[–] Mercival@lemm.ee 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

My friend told me of the horror of your menstrual cup falling into a public toilet. I'd take licking the bowl over that shit any day of the week.

[–] thawed_caveman@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

This is why you keep spare pads or tampons or we.

The one day you don't have them, that's when the worse will happen

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (9 children)

(cis)Women also will never know the pain of sitting on their own balls.

load more comments (9 replies)

[–] db2@sopuli.xyz 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Worse when it touches the water though.

[–] TFS@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Just wrap it around your thigh, problem solved

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] platysalty@kbin.social 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Alright how many of you in here trying to make your dick fart right now?

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] TheLobotomist@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Can some woman confirm this is legit? Seems very hard to believe

[–] RaptorMother@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It is... And honestly, I can't tell which one is worse. I will say, the first time it happened, I was terrified, thought something was wrong with me

load more comments (1 replies)

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] Case@unilem.org 15 points 1 year ago

I'd rather re-fart my own fart, than have my dick dip into a public toilet again.

One is slightly, uncomfortable, maybe? The other opens the mind to all the diseases that could potentially infect your dick in a public toilet. Unlikely? Sure. Possible? In some cases, with some diseases, yes - however slim.

[–] sagrotan@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Fat ass man here, can fart in 3 voices at the same time, I conserve one in the under ass, one in the upper ass and let them out the same time. You should've seen the admiring faces from the two cops in the front of the car. I even did it with cuffs. They totally wanted autographs.

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] mub@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I bet it is great requeef when it comes out!

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

weirdly accurate

[–] dodgy_bagel@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Had both.

Don't recommend either.

load more comments (4 replies)

[–] 93Akkord@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

So if you go down on a girl after she does this does that mean you're eating shit particles?

[–] BellaDonna@mujico.org 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I mean, you're always probably going to a little bit, no big deal, but they're so close together that it just happens

load more comments (1 replies)

load more comments