this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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all 39 comments
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[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 41 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It felt appropriate to stay on theme here.

[–] Shady_Shiroe@lemm.ee 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I would say 45 minutes of scrolling if lemmy.world wasn't constantly under DDOS attacks

[–] TheGoldenGod@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

So true… 😣 It’s like they think it’s the main server for the entire thing.

[–] raltoid@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I was shocked when I found out how common external/bleeding hemorrhoids can be(Almost 3/4 adults will have them from time to time).

Then it all clicked when I realized people sit on the toilet for 15min+, which is a major contributor to that condition.

[–] ButtholeSpiders@startrek.website 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When I get hemorrhoids, it’s not from sitting for long periods. It’s due to my need for a poop bat’leth. I take Klingon sized poops.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Correct, these are most certainly, POOPS. I have Toto toilets that I bought to ensure I can flush without fear of it’s returning from Sto-vo-kor.

[–] norawibb@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My wife can sit on the toilet for 45 minutes. I don't get it. I want to get on and off that thing as quickly as possible. Why do you want to hover over poo?

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Not all of us have a bowel that is cooperative and timely. For some of us it is always a pitched battle of wills, a violent class struggle.

[–] danny@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Because it doesn’t all happen at once

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Yeah, but 45 minutes? Take a break and come back or something.

[–] akippnn@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I'd say it's more of a revelation to me that sitting on the toilet seat itself for long periods causes hemorrhoids, than hemorrhoids being common in general.

I've been there for an hour a couple of times, I've never had it so I would never notice lol. I guess it's time to avoid it altogether.

[–] Faustus@feddit.ch 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Do your legs ever fall asleep

[–] Faustus@feddit.ch 11 points 1 year ago

Nope. Years of experience hiding in the bathroom from my kids.

[–] RedditWanderer@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Now do your leg that has long fell asleep

[–] ButtholeSpiders@startrek.website 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

A Klingon doesn’t skip leg day’s.

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You're supposed to hold it for 3 days, not 15 minutes!

But, that’s how they become pine cone shaped.

[–] Justly0250@lemdro.id 2 points 1 year ago

Rookie numbers.

[–] thegreatgarbo@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Thank you for a legit belly laugh.

[–] danny@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

Me rn (or my poop more accurately)

[–] mojo@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

this made me laugh way too much lmao

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Sadly, that's work for me. "You can go to the bathroom, but you have to finish these three orders first." Thanks, brain. Fuck you.

[–] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Or you could stay, there’s no shame friend.

[–] solstice@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

COURTESY FLUSH

There, said it loud and clear so everyone can hear. Doom scroll all you want but give it a flush first please, no need to stink up the bathroom with your nasty shit stew marinating the whole time. I don't understand why people don't know this.

[–] victron@programming.dev 0 points 1 year ago

Thank you for giving it a name, fellow courtesy flusher.