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I think doing those things when it's clear, is fine. As a queer person, when I catch my friends (usually inadvertently) say something queerphobic, I'll lean it and switch it to be critical of the cishet equivalent.
I think when it's clear, and when it's being used for a good reason, then there's no issue. You make a very good point about your child though. They don't usually get the nuances that an adult should.