this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
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Not my note.

It's so easy to rip people down. Pump someone's tires. It means way more than you can imagine.

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[–] nickiwest@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

You have a valid point about the historical unfair distribution of labor in heterosexual relationships, but for the love of Jesus, can you not just let the guy have a win?

Your whole response is very "all lives matter," and it's extremely off-putting ... even to me, a woman who is very firmly on your side about the unfairness of the emotional and domestic labor workload that is foisted upon women.

Read the room. This conversation is an opportunity to recognize that men could do with some encouragement sometimes for doing things well. That doesn't mean women don't also deserve encouragement when they do something well.

Both things can be true simultaneously. But we're not talking about both things here. Don't derail the former conversation to try to make it about the latter. Surely you can see from the downvotes that your digression isn't getting any traction.

People who might otherwise listen to what you have to say are actively dismissing your ideas because they are not receptive to those ideas as a part of this conversation. If you find that is a common theme in your experience, it's probably because you aren't making ideal choices about how to start these conversations. (Unless your whole goal is just trolling, in which case ... congratulations, I guess?)

The old saying is trite, but it's also true: you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.