this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
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Asklemmy
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Life. I tried several times to make it better and every time it "gets better" it actually gets worse than it was before. I was misdiagnosed as the blue puzzle piece and even though I literally am not that crap I'm still practically stalked by adult protective service even after changing my name and using a ups store as my "address". I never tell anyone about the MISdiagnosis because they never believe it was a mistake. Yet a lot of people still infantilize me and talk to me like I'm minutes old. These people would treat a literal preschooler like they're more mature than me. I can keep running but I can't hide from that damn puzzle piece. And honestly I'm tired of running. ๐ฅฑ๐ซ
Everyone can like or dislike anything, but that stupid puzzle piece made me like or dislike stuff. No, lostwave is not a "special interest" it's just a thing I enjoy. I don't play video games because of that stupid puzzle piece, I play games because they're FUN. I made games for a hobby, not because that stupid fucking puzzle piece made me like programming. You don't need to talk to other people about me in front of me like I'm an animal, about why these things "make me so happy".
I hate how I'm perpetually too old AND too young for everything. Everything family friendly is age regression, and everything else is "not suitable" for me. Smash Bros and Overwatch were both, a game for little kids, and a game with too much violence. But if I don't enjoy anything anymore, that stupid puzzle piece is why, and not all the bullshit I got from literally everyone in my life.
I give up on life because I'm sick and tired of living as a puppet controlled by a disorder I don't even have. I'm tired of fighting to be human. I'm done.
Hey man/girl/w/e,
I'm repressing the boomer thing to tell you it's going to be all right. I can't promise that.
I can just say that fighting the system is hard, I tried. Try work with it sometimes and see how that works out.
Also don't let anyone tell you thingsa are/aren't suitable. What makes you happy is very important to you. I started playing tf2 when I was in my late 20's and met a lot of people and had a blast.'
I feel, though, that my examples might not mean much to you now, and that's ok. Just know that I felt like what you described here and I managed to get it a bit better (i'm in my 40s now). Not everything is great, but I hop eyou find someone you can share some of your life with, that makes it easier.
Boomer out.
btw your username is great