this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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Was with you until you thought pointing and laughing would help make someone see the light
With you in principle and updooted you, but:
That one was A) a joke and B) a joke about shaming those unwilling to learn for not being willing to learn. Not about shaming them into being better in any way. What do you think I am, a Catholic parent?
I'd argue that people are not obligated to learn. If they don't want to learn what you need to be happy with them, leave them. Don't push them to do something they don't want to do. There's no reason to be hostile about it.
I mean technically being selfish isn't illegal.. Still better for everyone if they aren't, though 🤷
Except for the fact that the next one along is gonna get bad sex too. A lover is like a public park: when you're done using it, the polite thing is to leave it as good or better than when you arrived.
Unlike the OP, I'm advocating for constructive criticism and pointers. That's not pushing. That's nudging at most.
If you think giving helpful advice on how you can better please someone in bed, in stead of pretending that they're already a champion, is hostile behavior, that's a YOU problem..
Laughing at someone is hostile. Parting ways amicably is much better. I also think that men should not be pressed to do things they don't want to do in bed. Also, not every woman enjoys the same methods, so teaching a man something might not work for his next partner. People have different tastes in sexual stuff. It's necessary to communicate and be prepared that there can be different preferences. It's ok if someone doesn't want to do some stuff in bed.
As I made clear in another comment, that part was a joke. As in I didn't mean it. I don't endorse body shaming, even if someone's a selfish lover lol
Yeah, obviously.
Nobody's suggesting that. Can we do this without the strawmen, please?
Sure, but some things work for more than one person. Such as being open to suggestions of how to improve. Which needs to be a two-way street and voluntary, of course.
You don't say?
Of course. That's what I'm advocating for.
Again, I never said to force anyone to do anything. I meant something along the lines of "X isn't really working for me, could you try Y?" or "I really like X, is that something you're into?", NOT "do X or get out!"
So are we actually on the same page? It seems we agree with each other, which is nice.
...maybe? 🤷
Get a room!
How to admit you are shit in bed and you are not arsed enough to work on yourself.
Is it being shit in bed if you don't push your partner to do stuff they don't feel like doing? Is a partner shit in bed if they feel uncomfortable with some stuff? Are there mandatory ways to make love and to enjoy sex?
Ask your wife. Or her lover.
I am the wife.
In this case ask your husband's lover.
Nah, I just wanted to make sure it was obvious to others that part was a joke. I updooted you in a comment you made lower in the comments. I figured you were a person with good intent making a comment involving passion. Something I direly need to learn from. Controlling my responses hasn't always been great. As for the Catholics, I can't speak much of anything about them I suppose anymore. I left their following more than 20 years ago now, and I hope they grow better as I don't think they are going to disappear any time soon. I also need to give up drinking, but for sake of words, I say let's drink to a better future.
I quit drinking myself 5 years ago as of last month, but since I have some good nonalcoholic beer right here, I'll drink to all of that! 🍻
Well let's hope it's a chase I stay 5 years behind you until our end days. : )