Not The Onion

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We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

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Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

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Woman Who Sued Company for Not Giving Her a Farewell Card Finds Out They Did Buy a Card But Almost No One Signed It (www.latintimes.com)

submitted 3 weeks ago by RobotToaster@mander.xyz to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

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[–] roscoe@startrek.website 48 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

What's the opposite of eating the onion? I read your comment and scoffed, wondering who could actually believe this. The I saw the "Not" in the comm name.

[–] LordGimp@lemm.ee 20 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Boofing an apple obvs

[–] roscoe@startrek.website 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I vote for this to become official.

[–] Backlog3231@reddthat.com 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Seconded.

[–] LordGimp@lemm.ee 5 points 3 weeks ago

Carried. roscoe boofed that apple

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

I'm leaning towards either, "Fabricating The Onion," or "Puking The Onion." I think the first is a more accurate assessment of the situation though.

Edit: both my suggestions aren't any good next to "Picking/Plucking The Onion."

[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 7 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Picking the onion

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

This is better than both of my suggestions. The only refinement I can suggest is,

"Plucking The Onion."

[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 1 points 3 weeks ago

Pickling the onion

[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Presuming the onion

When it is in fact, an orange 😌

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

That's not bad, but I'm not sure it beats the other suggestion of, "Plucking the Onion."

Edit: I misremembered, they actually said "Picking the Onion."