this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2024
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politics

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[–] TransplantedSconie@lemm.ee 162 points 3 months ago (16 children)

Hold the debate anyway, and if he doesn't show up, replace him with a cardboard cutout with a recording of his greatest hits:

Sharks vs. Batteries

My Uncle The Nuclear Scientist

Inject Bleach

Shine a UV Light Inside the Body

Hannibal Lector is Awesome

[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 37 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] worldwidewave@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

What do you mean? Everyone knows that magnets don’t work when they get wet

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Plus all the Sir stories you can eat. I wish someone would package them into a storybook for adults that is humorous bullshit tales from Trump

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Don't fight up hill, me boys!

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

When the North famously fought the leprechauns.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Nuke the hurricanes

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

Can we work in the Sharpie sketch?

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 months ago

The revolutionary war airports.

[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

🎵 hold me close with tiny hands, sir!

[–] crystalmerchant@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Lmao wtf is Sharks vs Batteries

I swear every day there's some new nugget with this guy. The firehose is so big it's impossible to keep up

[–] cheers_queers@lemm.ee 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

well, you see, electric powered boats are extremely dangerous, because if they capsize, you have to choose whether to stay near the boat and get electrocuted, or swim 10 feet away toward a hungry shark. there are no other options, you see.

lol i wish i was joking

[–] Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

Planes Can’t Fly When It’s Not Sunny

[–] SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

And have the Mexicans pay for it

[–] 14th_cylon@lemm.ee 5 points 3 months ago

look at this cool sun. look!

[–] vanontom@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I think millions of people would watch this. The contrast of Harris vs T**** would be shocking. And a huge issue right now is communication of the issues.

Take a handful of actually important subjects: healthcare/abortion, immigration, climate, democracy/fascism, education, taxes, etc. Let Kamala clearly and concisely explain her/Democrats position. Then "let virtual Donny answer" (play each of his rambling greatest hits; it wouldn't be far off his actual answer). Do this for each subject, like a good old fashioned debate. Make it clear this was not AI or manipulated, but actual quotes.

[–] blattrules@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The republicans will try to elect the cardboard cutout in 2028.

[–] Serinus@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

If it has a mustache, but only under the nose.

[–] Prandom_returns@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago

The sound from the wind generators cause cancer.

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Slow the testing down, please!

When you're a celebrity, they just let you do it.

[–] ClanOfTheOcho@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Might make a decent SNL sketch.