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~~That advice is from the 1950s where there were not that many options and people didn't want to seem desperate. I like you, but not too much kinda thing.~~
~~Do that today and you might as well disappear from the face of the earth.~~
Misread your comment, I thought it was the old phone call advice.
Meeting strangers is no big deal, I meet them all the time, just have to walk outside. At the coffee shop there is strangers in line. Talk to them too. Arranging a face-to-face shouldn't be a big deal, it's just like cool maybe maybe we'll sync up
But really in the first few messages? Again, I'm all game. But I don't want to scare her off or something.
You don't have to request a dinner date or a movie or something. That might scare her off. Something quick and simple, though, shouldn't be a problem. "Hey, there's a Starbucks a few blocks from you, can I buy you a drink [tomorrow, whatever]? We can have a quick chat and see if we click." Or whatever's appropriate for your situation. You're not asking for a prolonged thing, just a brief face-to-face meeting, and if it goes well and you decide to go get lunch or something, fine, but you don't need to set that expectation up front.
Exactly. Quick and simple, with none of the expectations/baggage that a dinner date implies. Coffee. Ice cream. Freakin’ mini golf; I dunno. The point is to keep it casual, non-threatening, and allow conversation.
I am a lady and yes meeting in real life is the way to go. Not a real date, no, not the first time. But to meet at coffee shop or whatever, make sure the guy is real and see if there is any chemistry.
Plus if you are a guy looking for women, I'd think even more important to make sure you are talking to a real person who wants to meet people, not a fake profile.
It would not scare me, just a daytime meeting out where there are lots of people.
It's not pushy to ask for an in person meeting on a dating app. It's the whole point.