Edit: alt-text: Reddit post in r/TrueOffMyChest
Title: my friend just transitioned but I found out she's naming herself Mildred. I wanna be supportive but, fucking Mildred?
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this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2024
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I wish my middle name Shay (its the name i go by)would come back or be a thing for men. I've only ever met 2 other people in my age range with it, and both were women, and the one person outside of my age range was an old old old woman. I dislike my first name to such a large extent that I choose to go by Shay.
I feel your pain. I wish I had a better first name or middle name to go by but I’m stuck between a shit place and a shitter place. And none of the nicknames I tried to get assigned actually worked out for me so.. I either get nicknames I hate as much as the name itself or nothing. Super fun!
And if you want to change names, holy fuck, best of luck!
At least you have something you can relate to? I have never met anyone, of any gender, named Shay. I know that doesn’t necessarily help… but.. it’s definitely not something I’d (as a solid middle age sort of person) consider a gendered name. Not more so than Aaron/Erin or any other neutral name..
When you meet new people just tell them whatever name you prefer even if it's not your name. 2ish years ago, I started going by Shay by just telling people that. But there were people who have always known me by my other name, but I just told them I always hated that name, so call me Shay, and I gently corrected them every time they called me by my other name. The only people who still call me by me og name is my wife and my girlfriend(poly relationship not cheating), but they are working on it.
There’s no name I actively want to go by, is the problem. I’ve tried with minor changes but nobody took them and they aren’t things I can just be like “this is me” because it… wouldn’t be actually? I’m envious of people who have the option to choose their own name, or how to apply it. Mine is so short there’s like 2 nickname options and I hate both. Passionately.
Best I’ve ever come up with would take a full name change (first middle last) to be worth doing. And that’s not worth doing.
I’m super glad it was effective for you, though, honestly that’s what matters. If it matters enough that you have a preference, it matters. My preference is just “anything else please” and that’s not a good option for most people, which.. legit.
No judgement on your relationships, whatever works. I haven’t the energy to be weird about it :)
Well, im sorry to hear that. I get how you feel, and I hope it can change for you if that's what you want. Ya polyamory is hard work and a lot of communication, but it can be super rewarding when it works.
Im super glad it works for you, same with a self-directed name :)
No need for sorrow, I think I'm just too old to see myself the way I’d have liked several decades back :)
Either way, I hope you have a wonderful night friend! I hope to run into you again :)