Casual Conversation

I’m struggling to differentiate with what I read online and what’s actually real in that regard.

As someone who once had to navigate a very difficult work situation involving that, may I make a suggestion? Just forget the trans thing unless it's front and center, take everything you've read and heard with a grain of salt, and let the people you've met just be themselves to you. Let them inform your ideas of who they are, themselves, directly, for better or for worse. They're people first and foremost; in that sense the trans is secondary. Meet them in your shared humanity and you won't go wrong.

I say that because they're just people too, like you are, but sometimes trans people bring a whole world of hurt, betrayal, exclusion, rejection, and wounding along with them to the table that we normies cannot even begin to comprehend.

This was many years ago, back in the 90s, but I was in the bad situation I was in because the trans person saw ill-intent that did not exist -- but it was because they'd had so much of that shit already they just weren't able to see that no one had prejudice toward them in that specific situation. To simply be accepted was literally that new for them. Thus there was a whole lot of miscommunication, inadvertent offense given and taken, and far more drama than there ever needed to be all around. It got cleared up, and we all learned a lot, but it was hard for a while.

So just let them be themselves, and be as courteous as you would with any stranger. It's the fastest way to equilibrium with anyone, but especially with people who are not used to just being allowed to be. They already know you're uncomfortable, and that you probably don't know how to deal with the whole thing, because that's most of the people they meet. So if you're just cool and normal to them, as you'd be to anyone else, you'll be a breath of fresh air. Hope this helps.