this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] linearchaos@lemmy.world 36 points 9 months ago (6 children)

OMG, Had just moved into a new house. BEAUTIFUL white kitchen, marble counter tops, light grey floor, whole 9 yards.

Kid 1: I want home made pizzas for my birthday party

Me: FUUUUUUU...OK

Day of:

Split up the 17 batches of fermented dough I had made into pie rounds

Broke out the cast iron skillet.

Started working out dough rounds.

Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

Round -> corn starch-> skillet -> on the range on high sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

CRANKIN' IT OUT BOSS!

Oh shit I'm out of red sauce, grab another giant glass jar from the pantry

Go to grab something with my off hand, swing the sauce too close, comes down on the edge of the counter, 99.9% over the floor. CRACK!

Bottom of the glass jar just falls off. I'm wearing cargo shorts, it fills my pocket, and my shoe, and slops into the open drawer and down the counter face and as the glass hits the floor, the sprays up all over the rest of the counters and my shirt and the ceiling and the lip of the counter.

[–] sharkwellington@lemmy.world 20 points 9 months ago

That sounds like a real lasanyer shoe day.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Did you throw some spaghetti in that pocket and make your own meme photo?

[–] linearchaos@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

Honestly even with the bloodbath that was there I couldn't hope to even approach the majesty of that photo.

[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)
  • Living space with pristine white room and furnishings
  • Living space with one or more children

Pick one.

[–] TseseJuer@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

the children had nothing to do with butterfingers goof up though?

[–] RalphFurley@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Man I thought the other night was bad. Just got my new fizzy drink maker machine. Showed my kids how awesome fizzy orange juice is. I didn't release the pressure after fizzing it up, remove the bottle and BOOM, fizzy OJ goes EVERYWHERE... ceiling, my face, walls, the clean dishes on the drying rack, windows etc etc. lol

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You’re supposed to make water fizzy, and then afterwards add flavor (which contains sugar.)

I don’t think you are supposed to add it before otherwise it explodes everywhere?

[–] RalphFurley@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

DrinkMate will fizzify any liquid, it's different than the soda stream where you add their flavors. I use this for water mostly tho

[–] linearchaos@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Oh yeah, I have one of those. My failure was lemonade. They need to make one with a longer straw so you can keep the liquid further down in the carbonation bottle. Anything but water is a constant s*** show

[–] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

When mayonnaise used to be sold in glass jars I dropped a brand new jar and had mayonnaise and broken glass everywhere.

[–] crazyCat@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Were you able to salvage any? Just asking if it was Hellman’s you could maybe still use some from the top.

[–] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago

It was Hellmann's and no, it was an absolute shit show. I was cleaning mayonnaise off the ceiling

[–] meliaesc@lemmy.world 0 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] linearchaos@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

Heh so is the cleanup, I still find little spots of tomato sauce to this day