this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2024
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[–] ExtraordinaryJoe@reddthat.com 17 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Getting divorced at 57. Only married 8 years, but separated for almost 3 now. I hate online dating. I worry about being creepy when I see someone I'm attracted to. I can't bring myself to hit on anyone I work with, especially since I'm only attracted to women far younger than me (30s and early 40s). I guess I'm alone from here out, with my only physical contact coming from the occasional massage parlor.

[–] d00phy@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

Man, loneliness sucks! Best I can say is try and fill your free time as much as possible. I met my wife online, but that landscape has completely changed since we got together! At the time, I was in my late 30s and pretty much only out of my apartment for work or gym. If I hadn’t met her, I’m pretty sure gym time would’ve eventually dwindled to zero. Even if you don’t start a new relationship, you’ll be busy and around others. Better than Netflix being you closest “friend!”

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You planning on having kids? If not, maybe deprioritize attraction and focus on someone with a personality.

Bonus: you won't feel nervous or creepy talking to them.

[–] Botanicals@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

This is the way 🎯

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

Wait, you only are attracted to women in their 30s still, at nearly 60? Oof I am almost your age with kids that old. I can see why you are worried about seeming creepy.

Best of luck to you, in any event, and I do think if you open your window to women who are similar attractiveness to however you look, your prospects will be good, if you had a long run of a relationship you can again, you do know how to live with someone. That's a valuable life skill. And I agree with d00phy, get out in the world and do things, you will meet people and make connections, that helps.