this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2023
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It was sometime in early 2022 that I found myself reading a few romance novels. I remember being mildly annoyed about how most of the books had instant chemistry/attraction as part of the plot. Then I suddenly found myself wondering, how do I feel if and when I feel attraction? I think I have probably never felt instant attraction. When I look at a good looking man/woman I just feel an appreciation for their beauty, like how I would feel looking at a beautiful painting or photograph. At most all I feel is a wish is to look at them a few times more than is appropriate. I don’t remember how it feels like to feel attraction towards someone I have feelings for. The last time I felt strong feelings for someone was many years ago and I can’t recall my feelings now. I am very curious to know how other people feel when they experience attraction towards someone. How does it feel physically, and what thoughts and/or feelings do you experience? Also, do you consider chemistry and attraction to be the same or different? How?

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Instant interest, yes. And, that can quickly lead to attraction, if you follow up on the interest and they reciprocate.

It's really easy to fall in love if both sides are ready and willing. That's why falling in love is chance and a numbers game. There is no special one person, it's just keep meeting new people and hope it happens.

I think the mistake most people make is limiting their choices too narrowly without good reason.