this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
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Someone is free to only date people who don't do office work, but its their job to communicate that requirement and what they'd consider crossing that line. You shouldn't be expected to consult your partner before filling out some paperwork at work and there shouldn't be some societal-wide expectation that you would inform them of the work.
When I get deeply emotionally attached to my data analyst, I might care if they're moonlighting on the side. Sex, work or not, is still an emotional topic for most of the human race and it's not new knowledge to anyone.
Enough that it would not naturally occur to me that "please do not engage in prostitution while we're together" needs to be said out loud. I will casually ask if you're monogamous and if you say yes, that's how monogamy works.
Even aside from that, yeah, tbh, I would consider it good form to let your partner know you're considering a new job regardless, just so they generally know what's going on. If you have to hide it, maybe something is wrong.
I personally would not date someone who is employed by the US military.
If a partner hid that from me, it would be a breach of trust.
If you're in a relationship with someone that cares that deeply about office work, and you don't have the first inkling that they do, you have significant communication problems that need to be addressed.
More realistically, you'd know enough about your partner to know that it might be an issue for them, in which case, not knowing what their boundaries are, but knowing you're at risk of crossing them, you'd communicate with them.