I've been slowly, but steadily collecting more and more people to miss, Watching my finances get worse and worse. My body is starting to fall apart. My life is boring, lonely and grueling. Every time I take a step forward in one area I take a step back in all the others. Therapy has been worse than useless, loved ones stop caring eventually, casual friends just disappear into the ether without a trace.

I wish I hadn't gotten "lucky" during my previous suicide attempts, because I definitely can't try that anymore. I wish someone could just do it for me, without me ever expecting it.

But your 30s are supposed to be easier. More stable. It's hard to believe that'll be the case for me, going into them with no connection to my past, no money, no marketable skills.

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[–] hulemy@ani.social 1 points 11 months ago

I might be too young for these kind of threads, but yes. I was really depressed during my teenage years but since I've started college I've been feeling and doing better. I'm currently in my early twenties and starting to feel like a human again.

I may have less friends now than when I browsed Twitter 24/7 but now I have met some core people I can trust, which is to mee better than a lot of casual people I barely talk to

Part of me feels like it's because due to college I've started meeting people with the same interests as me. I am no longer having suicidal thoughts every day and I start to look at the world as a bit more of a beautiful place.